It is important for everyone including young people, to save money for their future. What extant do you agree or disagree with tihs statement?

#people #money #future #tihs

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Saving

money

Use synonyms

is a vital matter for financial security for all ages.

Although

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it is hard to prioritise saving

money

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, especially at a young age,

this

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provides a lot of opportunities from emergencies to long-term advantages. Personally, I completely agree that saving

money

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is important for both young and

adults

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for

future

Use synonyms

plans.

This

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essay demonstrates

firstly

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the significance of accumulating wealth for youngs followed by an analysis of the importance of

this

Linking Words

approach to

money

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for

adults

Use synonyms

To begin

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with, additional budget plays main role in youngs'

future

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success.

In other words

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, accumulating wealth offers young financial flexibility for both academic paths and any skills development which they

facilitate

Correct subject-verb agreement

facilitates

show examples

future

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career paths.

For example

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, student load credits burden many families' budgets and

thus

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, the young need to find part-time work and continue their studies at the same time.

However

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, by saving

money

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students can focus on their studies more easily or have the possibility of taking courses and improving their soft skills which is paramount for occupying higher positions in the labour market.

Moreover

Linking Words

, saving

money

Use synonyms

provides financial security for

adults

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in very different situations.

For instance

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, everyone may face job loss

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and unexpected expenses

such

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as medical bills and other emergencies. There are

also

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long-term goals like purchasing a home, starting a business or funding retirement which all of them demand additional budget. Because of

this

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, saving

money

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has undoubted significance for

adults

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future

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goals. In conclusion, by accumulating wealth individuals can achieve more easily to their long-term aims. I support that people benefit from

this

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approach to

money

Use synonyms

noticeably in all ages.

Submitted by i.nureddinn on Fri Sep 13 2024

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task achievement

Your essay would benefit from a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to outline the main points you will discuss in the essay.

task achievement

Pay attention to some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to enhance clarity and readability.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next to improve the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Work on creating more defined topic sentences for each paragraph to clearly convey the main idea you will discuss.

task achievement

You provided relevant examples that clearly support your main points.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a solid introduction and conclusion that frames your argument well.

coherence cohesion

The essay is structured logically with clear and concise arguments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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It is important for everyone including young people, to save money for their future. What extant do you agree or disagree with tihs statement?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Nowadays, many people choose to be selfemployed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantage of being selfemployed?

Some people think that newly built houses should follow the style of old houses in local areas. Others think that people should have freedom to build houses of their own style. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

These days, a majority of animals are kept in zoos in order to save them from becoming extinct. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Write a letter to you friend who want to stay at you home, but you will be away on a vacation for a month. Discuss details about the trip and how yo get keys of the apartment

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is a problem about a traffic on roads around the world. It is undeniable that transportation by the car has become an essential part of our life. However, these days it become much difficult and create a traffic jam.