Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. Discuss both these views and give your own.

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Some

people

Use synonyms

argue that if something bad

happen

Change the verb form

happens

show examples

to them, like do not match with their job or lack of money, the best thing to do is just accept it. Meanwhile, others think that they can not just stand still, they must try to fix the situation.

This

Linking Words

essay will analyze both sides and the conclusion will be made.

To begin

Linking Words

with, in life,

people

Use synonyms

will go through at least once in their lifetime the lowest point as long as they live.

For example

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, I

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

failed

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

many times when I tried to pursue my dream university. At that time, I was just crying all night and wondering why

this

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must

Correct your spelling

just

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happened to me.

However

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, because I really

want

Wrong verb form

wanted

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to become a student

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apply

show examples

there, I tried again

the

Change preposition

for the

show examples

examination

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apply

show examples

the

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

following year and passed the test.

Therefore

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, I

Verb problem

did

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not just accept the feeling,

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instead

Add a comma

instead,

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I was working harder to change the condition.

In addition

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, there are some

people

Use synonyms

who will not accept the feeling of sadness or hardships. Even, they will find the solution to make their life

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

better.

For instance

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, I

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

failed on my first ever experience when taking IELTS. The

overall

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band score

was

Verb problem

did

show examples

not fulfill my

expectation

Fix the agreement mistake

expectations

show examples

. Because of

this

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, I try harder and harder and practice

everyday

Replace the word

every day

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. The failure becomes my motivation to get a better result.

Thus

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bad

Correct article usage

the bad

show examples

situation motivates me to work harder than before. To summarise, I feel that bad things can encourage

people

Use synonyms

to not give up

with

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show examples

their current situations.

Instead

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, just accept it and feel sad for a long time without making

improvement

Fix the agreement mistake

improvements

show examples

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

worse.

Hence

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people

Use synonyms

can change bad moments into doing better

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the next time.

wishmeluck Fri Sep 13 2024

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task achievement

Work on expanding your ideas more comprehensively. The essay often touches on points but doesn't explore them in enough depth.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to maintain a logical structure throughout the essay. Arrange your points to flow more naturally from one to the next.

task achievement

Ensure all main points are sufficiently supported with relevant examples. While some examples were good, some points lacked depth.

coherence cohesion

Improve transitions between paragraphs. This will help in maintaining coherence and aiding the reader's understanding.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction is clear and sets up both sides of the argument effectively.

relevant specific examples

Your personal examples are engaging and relevant, which makes the essay more relatable.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Contentment
Resilience
Personal growth
Endurance
Initiative
Advancement
Catalyst
Financial stability
Status quo
Innovation
Missed opportunities
Life satisfaction
Adverse situations
Taking control
Risk assessment
Change management
Self-improvement
Motivation
Stagnation
Proactivity

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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. Discuss both these views and give your own.

In many countries not enough students are choosing to study science subject. What are causes? And what will be effects on society?

With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of damaging such areas?

In some societies, more and more people are deciding to live alone. Why do you think this is? Do the advantages of living alone outweigh the disadvantages?