Nowadays environmental problems are too big to be managed by individual persons or individual countries. In other words, it is an international problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#nowadays #persons #countries

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In the modern world, environmental issues have been increasing and have drawn a lot of

attentions

Fix the agreement mistake

attention

show examples

globally. Some argue that these

problems

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must be tackled by internationals, not by

person

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people

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. I partly agree with

this

Linking Words

argument because there are many

problems

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can

Correct pronoun usage

that can

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be done by

individual

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individuals

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and following the world. First and foremost, there are several environmental issues

happing

Verb problem

happening

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such

Linking Words

air

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pollution.

This

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contamination is caused by using excessive energy sources for our daily routine. A large

amount

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of exhaust emission from

transport

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vehicles is increasing

due to

Linking Words

traffic jams.

Aother

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Another

reason is the developing industrial,

numnerous

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numerous

factories built, releasing

massive

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a massive

show examples

Use synonyms

amount

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amounts

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of polluted

air

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into the atmosphere. Rising

greehouse

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greenhouse

gases( carbon dioxide,

methan

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methane

, nitrous) causes global warming, which traps the heat from the sun and

make

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makes

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the Earth hotter.

Furthermore

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, cutting trees down for human purposes like making furniture,

farm

Correct word choice

and farm

show examples

land is

reason

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the reason

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leading to

air

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pollution. It is because trees

abrob

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absorb

carbon dioxide and release oxygen,

hepling

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helping

balance the CO2 in the atmosphere. In order to

takle

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tackle

take

environmental

problems

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people should take steps. Reducing the use of

transport

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vehicles is an ideal solution.

Instead

Linking Words

of driving a personal car, commuters can use public

transport

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that

dreceases

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deceases

decreases

releases

congested

transport

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, bringing

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amount

Add an article

the amount

show examples

of exhaust emission down.

Besides

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, industrial

comapnies

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companies

that globally cooperate should introduce

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

polluted

air

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systems before allowing

into

Correct pronoun usage

them into

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the atmosphere. In

additional

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addition

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, the government should fund more money on green

plan

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plans

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for cities, by doing it ,

massive

Add an article

a massive

the massive

show examples

amount

Use synonyms

of carbon dioxide will drop. make our planet greener. In conclusion,

it is clear that

Linking Words

environmental

problems

Use synonyms

do not only belong to internationals but everyone. Each individual should take

responsibily

Correct your spelling

responsibility

for addressing

enviromental

Correct your spelling

environmental

issues and

then

Linking Words

the global.

Submitted by tranghathu16hd on Fri Sep 13 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs, and vary sentence structures to enhance readability.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and elaborate on how individual efforts can support international actions. This will help in presenting a well-rounded and complete response.

coherence cohesion

You have clearly articulated your stance on the topic and provided a logical structure in your arguments.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion effectively frame your essay, making your main points clear to the reader.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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￼Nowadays environmental problems are too big to be managed by individual persons or individual countries. In other words, it is an international problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries , students live with their family while studying at a university . In other countries ,students attend university in another city. Do you think the advantages of living away from family home while attending outweigh the disadvantages ?

In many countries, people do not recycle waste materials, such as bottles and newspapers. What are the reasons for this? What could be done to solve this problem

Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and prevention measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar; which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays environmental problems are too big to be managed by individual persons or individual countries. In other words, it is an international problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?