Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Other believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather that compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In the contemporary epoch, there are several debates over whether a
sense
of competition
or a sense
of cooperation should be emphasized in children
's upbringing procedure. In the following essay will be discussed both standpoints and elaborateed
on the advantages and disadvantages of these viewpoints.
On the one hand, a Correct your spelling
elaborated
elaborate
elaborates
sense
of competition
can motivate children
to strive more than their capacities. Thus
, this
sense
leads to several achievements in their life, and they with a high possibility to pursue their happiness. In addition
, the highlighted sense
boosts a level of communication, hence
, children
who have the mentioned sense
are able to forge or even maintain their relationships more favourable compared to other children
.
On the other hand
, a cooperation sense
fosters social
abilities of Correct article usage
the social
children
. It is obvious that children
with a better sense
of cooperating have a higher level of teamworking
. Correct your spelling
teamwork
Moreover
, this
collaborative spirit can lead to more harmonious workplaces. In this
unity workeplace
, all members work efficiently. Correct your spelling
workplace
Therefore
, the mentioned firms and
progress quickly, so Correct word choice
apply
amount
of their productivities are enhanced in Add an article
the amount
this
intimate system. Furthermore
, people who have this
sense
live more healthier in comparison with the other children
, because children
with a competition
spirit always do their best to Replace the word
competitive
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
a
excellence.
Remove the article
apply
Overall
, both points of view have benefits and drawbacks. Everybody, due to
preferences, opts the one of the discussed approaches in this
essay. In my oppinion
, a Correct your spelling
opinion
competition
Replace the word
competitive
sense
can cause more sucess
in Correct your spelling
success
children
's life
, but may Fix the agreement mistake
lives
sabotages
Change the verb form
sabotage
thier
Correct your spelling
their
mind's
health. Change noun form
minds'
Hence
, choosing a balance
method for Change the verb form
balanced
development
of Add an article
the development
children
is considerable
crucial.Change the word
considerably
Submitted by speher2000behroozifar on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
To enhance logical structure, work on clear paragraphing and ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea that is fully developed before moving to the next.
task achievement
Use more varied and sophisticated examples to effectively support your main points and illustrate your arguments better.
grammar lexis
Work on reducing grammatical errors and improving lexical resource to increase clarity and precision.
content
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both viewpoints.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and offers a considered opinion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.