In a number of countries some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing high speed railway lines for inter-city travel. Others believe this money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries, there is a current debate about the best use of public
money
for transportation. Some
people
think that building
high speed
Add a hyphen
high-speed
show examples
train lines between
cities
is important,
while
others believe that the
money
should be used to improve an existing public
transport
system. Both opinions have good
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
, and
this
essay will look at each view. On one hand, those who support
high speed
Add a hyphen
high-speed
show examples
railways, believe they are important for the future.
High speed
Add a hyphen
High-speed
show examples
trains
can make travel between
cities
much faster, which would
makr
Correct your spelling
make
it easier and quicker for
people
to get
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
destination
Fix the agreement mistake
destinations
show examples
.
This
not only makes things more convenient for travellers but can
also
help the economy by encouraging
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
business trips and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourism.
Additionally
, these
trains
are better for the environment than cars and planes, helping to cut down on pollution.
For example
, countries like Japan and France, which have spent a lot on high-speed rail, have seen good results in transportation and lower pollution levels.
On the other hand
, many
people
think the current public
transport
system really needs to be improved. In most
cities
, buses, trams, and local
trains
are old, crowded and not reliable. Making these services better would directly help more
people
every day
,.
Change the punctuation
,
.
show examples
Especially in
cities
where millions of
people
depend on public
transport
to get to work, school, or do other important things. By investing in better buses and
trains
,
cities
can reduce traffic and improve air quality.
Also
, upgrading public
transport
would take less time and
money
compared to building new train lines. In conclusion,
while
high speed
Add a hyphen
high-speed
show examples
railways have clear advantages for travel between
cities
and lowering pollution, improving current public
transport
systems could help more
people
quickly. In my opinion,
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
money
on public
transport
is
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
comfortable and affordable solution that would help more
people
in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
short time.
Submitted by Kawasaki on

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the topic and outlines the two viewpoints, which is a good start. However, to improve, consider presenting your opinion more explicitly in the introduction itself.
task achievement
Ensure that your main points are fully developed with more specific examples. The examples you provided are general; adding more details can help strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Pay attention to language and phrasing. For instance, 'makr' should be 'make'. Accurately proofreading your essay will help you avoid minor errors.
coherence cohesion
Try to connect your ideas more smoothly. Use cohesive devices like 'therefore,' 'furthermore,' and 'in addition' to enhance the flow between points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from better paragraph structure. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence and then develop that idea fully before moving on to the next point.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both views effectively, which shows a balanced understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion reaffirms your opinion and summarizes the key points well, providing a sense of closure.
task achievement
You've highlighted important aspects such as environmental benefits and economic implications, demonstrating a good grasp of the subject matter.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • high-speed rail
  • inter-city travel
  • economic growth
  • environmentally friendly
  • carbon emissions
  • public transportation infrastructure
  • reliability
  • service frequency
  • cost-effective
  • initial investment
  • accessibility
  • underserved areas
  • regional needs
  • budget constraints
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