More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think a solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods.

More and more

people

Use synonyms

becoming overweight,

raising

Rephrase

so raising

show examples

the

price

Use synonyms

of fattening

foods

Use synonyms

can be a

solution

Use synonyms

Although

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

raising the prices of fattening

foods

Use synonyms

would be helpful for low-finance

families

Use synonyms

, some

people

Use synonyms

become addicted to fattening

foods

Use synonyms

. Increasing the

price

Use synonyms

of fattening

foods

Use synonyms

can be good for

people

Use synonyms

who have lower incomes. Since they can not spend a high

per cent

Correct your spelling

percentage

show examples

of their income on food. These

families

Use synonyms

may reduce eating junk

foods

Use synonyms

after raising the prices.

For example

Linking Words

, there are some

families

Use synonyms

which have no more money to spend

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

extra things

such

Linking Words

as spending on fattening

foods

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, it would be a good

solution

Use synonyms

for low-finance

families

Use synonyms

to reduce getting overweight. On the other side, increasing the

price

Use synonyms

of fattening

foods

Use synonyms

can not be a

solution

Use synonyms

for some

people

Use synonyms

. Some

people

Use synonyms

become addicted to fast

foods

Use synonyms

or some fattening

foods

Use synonyms

and they may not look at the

price

Use synonyms

of them and can purchase them even if they would be in high

price

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

who are addicted smoke particularly, they can not get rid of it even if the

price

Use synonyms

is increased. So, rising prices can not be a

solution

Use synonyms

for some

people

Use synonyms

who are addicted to them. In conclusion, to avoid more and more

people

Use synonyms

becoming overweight, raising the

price

Use synonyms

of fattening

foods

Use synonyms

can be a good

solution

Use synonyms

for low-income

families

Use synonyms

. Because they can not spend

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

more money on food. But, some

people

Use synonyms

may become addicted to these

foods

Use synonyms

and they would buy them even if it is expensive.

makemoneyizzy16Fri Sep 13 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

To improve task achievement, ensure you fully develop each idea with more detailed explanations and examples. Make sure every point you make addresses the topic directly and contributes to your argument.

coherence cohesion

For better coherence and cohesion, work on the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Transition words and phrases can help link your ideas more smoothly.

introduction conclusion present

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which frame the discussion well.

supported main points

The main ideas are relevant to the topic and each paragraph addresses a particular aspect of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
overweight
fattening foods
calorie-dense
healthier food choices
taxation
economic implications
social implications
subsidies
nutritional education
public health campaigns
nanny state
individual's right
consumer behavior
preventative measures

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
In some parts of the world, many famous people are regarded as ‘role models’ and they are having an increasing influence on the young. Is that a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, in many countries celebrities, can considered to be role models and they have tremendous impact on young generation. In my opinion that is negative development because their main goal is entertainment and amuse people, moreover most of them lead detrimental Life style and promote bad values.
7
band
People are living much longer than before, and this creates enormous pressure on government services. What are some of the effects of a much larger, older population and what can governments do to deal with this problem?
Advances in medicine and healthier lifestyles mean that people are living longer, and many countries have ageing populations. This creates challenges for governments in supporting a growing number of older people. This essay will look at the effects of this problem and suggest possible ways that governments can manage it.
6.5
band
Some people think that importing movies and TV programmes from other countries is better for country . Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Do you agree or disagree?
There has been an ongoing debate on playing foreign TV programmes and movies on local channels. Recently, a surge has been noticed of our media showcasing the entertainment channels of other countries. Some people favour this idea and claim that it makes our countrymen aware of various global cultures. On the contrary, others argue that exposure to foreign traditions through social media may negatively impact our own norms. While both proponents have valid reasons to support their stance, I believe that local entertainment channels should be given priority over imported media.
7
band
Bullying is a big problem in many schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In recent years, bullying has taken a very known place in our societies and it take places in most of the schools, colleges and universities. Bullying is a form of activity that can be done by any person because of their insecurities as well as just for enjoyment. Since, bullying is a major problem in most of the socities and regarding to this, government should take some actions against it, such as establishinng anti-bullying communities and making some stern laws.
6.5
band
Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects.Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
People have different views about the most significant lessons whether science and technology or history in the current world. In my opinion, both subjects are valuable however, I prefer to lean towards the former as I believe that it is vital to know more about science and technology.

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think a solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods.

Fully explain your ideas

In some parts of the world, many famous people are regarded as ‘role models’ and they are having an increasing influence on the young. Is that a positive or negative development?

People are living much longer than before, and this creates enormous pressure on government services. What are some of the effects of a much larger, older population and what can governments do to deal with this problem?

Some people think that importing movies and TV programmes from other countries is better for country . Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Do you agree or disagree?

Bullying is a big problem in many schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects.Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.