Nowadays environmental problems are too big to be managed by individual persons or individual countries. In other words, it is an international problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#persons #countries

In recent times environmental issues have increased. It is a highly debatable issue whether individuals can control

this

problem, or whether it is an international issue. I agree that everyone contributes to

save

Change the verb form

saving

show examples

the environment.

This

essay will outline the benefits

effects

Correct word choice

and effects

show examples

of managing environmental

problems

by individuals.

To begin

people

have a vital role in controlling environmental

problems

. Reducing the number of cars can significantly reduce carbon emissions which leads to

maintain

Change the verb form

maintaining

show examples

the atmosphere.

For example

, the result of conducted research at Glasgow University illustrates that

transportations

Fix the agreement mistake

transportation

show examples

causes 80% of air pollution.

Thus

people

should decrease the number of cars and use other types like buses.

Moreover

, cutting trees could

leads

Change the verb form

lead

show examples

to big

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

in environmental issues. If

people

cutting

Wrong verb form

cut

show examples

trees ,

this

can

be reduced

Wrong verb form

reduce

show examples

carbon

dioxid

Correct your spelling

dioxide

and

make

Verb problem

cause

show examples

problems

For instance

, deforestation in India

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

people

suffer from health

problems

Therefore

people

can save

Correct article usage

the envirenment

show examples

envirenment

Correct your spelling

environment

with

Change preposition

show examples

growing a lot of plants.

In addition

, industry can

also

influences

Change the verb form

influence

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

environmental

problems

. Many factories produce

dangeour

Correct your spelling

dangerous

danger

emissions that may cause

healthe

Correct your spelling

health

problems

. A good example here is my friend who works in oil

factor

Correct your spelling

factories

show examples

that

Correct word choice

and

show examples

now

suffer

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suffers

show examples

from heart disease.

Furthermore

, the

wastes

Fix the agreement mistake

waste

show examples

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not only

harm

Correct subject-verb agreement

harms

show examples

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

lives but

also

are making

Wrong verb form

makes

show examples

the view

Change preposition

that

show examples

the country is not good.

This

can reduce

economy

Correct article usage

the economy

show examples

. To illustrate, visitors

attract

Wrong verb form

are attracted

show examples

visit

Wrong verb form

visiting

show examples

clean places.

As a result

people

should be educated to be aware of the importance of

clean

Correct article usage

a clean

show examples

environment. In conclusion, minimizing the

transportations

Fix the agreement mistake

transportation

show examples

, avoiding deforestation ,

throuing

Correct your spelling

throwing

wastes

Fix the agreement mistake

waste

show examples

and

indusry

Correct your spelling

industry

are major causes that

individaul

Correct your spelling

individual

individuals

can control to save our lives.

Therefor

Correct your spelling

Therefore

show examples

, the government must support

people

take

Correct your spelling

make

show examples

the right

decission

Correct your spelling

decision

decisions

and put

Correct article usage

a stricet

show examples

stricet

Correct your spelling

strict

role to avoid

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

proplems

Correct your spelling

problem

problems

Submitted by 13570581 on Fri Sep 13 2024

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task response

Ensure each main point is clearly developed and supported. For example, the essay could further elaborate on the role of industries in environmental problems with specific data or studies.

coherence cohesion

Work on the transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas. Linking sentences between paragraphs can help the reader understand how each point relates to the main argument.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly states the topic and the writer’s position, which sets a clear direction for the essay.

task response

Relevant examples are provided to support the main points, which strengthens the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
43Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

284 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

collective action
climate change
rising sea levels
extreme weather events
biodiversity loss
ecosystems
Convention on Biological Diversity
significant improvements
sovereignty
environmental policies
international collaboration
environmental degradation
shared responsibility
technological advances
innovative solutions
international cooperation

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Nowadays environmental problems are too big to be managed by individual persons or individual countries. In other words, it is an international problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries senior positions have higher salaries compared to those of young workers of the same company. Some people think this is not justified. Do you agree or disagree?

Group or team activities can teach more important skills for life than those activities which are done alone. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The map details a town now and a proposed future layout

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is positive or a negative development?