IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that using a bicycle as main from of transportation has a lot of advantages, whereas others think that it has many disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #bicycle #transportation
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It is an undeniable fact that bicycles are one of the oldest forms of transportation . Many
people
 argue that the bicycle is an effective mode of transportation
while
 others are against
this
 statement . I intend to discuss both views. To commence , Using
bicycle
Correct article usage
a bicycle
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
show examples
 of benefits . Cycling can serve as a release mentally, emotionally and physically . It
keep
Change the verb form
keeps
show examples
 our body healthy and fit . it is proven that using
bicycle
Add an article
a bicycle
show examples
 is a great
soruce
Correct your spelling
source
 of exercise which
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
 it is
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
 benefit is working out your heart , blood
vesals
Correct your spelling
vessels
 and lungs.
However
, It is
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
enviornmentaly freindly
Correct your spelling
environmentally friendly
 as it
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not create pollution and
easy
Add a missing verb
is easy
show examples
 to use .
Everyperson
Correct your spelling
Every person
 can buy it because there is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
no
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
stress related to insurance and high
mainatance
Correct your spelling
maintenance
. Nowadays
people
 have
Correct article usage
a sedantary
show examples
sedantary
Correct your spelling
sedentary
 lifestyle so they do not have much time to do some exercise so it is a good way to commute
as well as
 keep
body
Add an article
the body
show examples
 healthy .
People
 can get rid
off
Change preposition
of
show examples
 many chronic diseases. 
On the other hand
 , There are some
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
also
 . Bike rides are
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
 which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 them less reliable .
Furthermore
, It is hard to commute long
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
show examples
 places. It is not suitable for families who like to travel together. For old
people
four
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
wheeler
Correct your spelling
four-wheeler
show examples
 is
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 only good option meanwhile it makes their journey comfortable and enjoyable .  In conclusion , Without
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 shadow of
Correct article usage
a doubts
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
doubt
show examples
doubts
Add a comma
doubts,
show examples
 it can be said that
bicyles
Correct your spelling
bicycles
 are
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 source of
maintain
Change the verb form
maintaining
show examples
 our health which we can not
aschew
Correct your spelling
achieve
 but four wheelers are essential
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 many ways . So on
daily
Add an article
a daily
show examples
basis
Add a comma
basis,
show examples
people
 should use bicycles.
Submitted by simran17895 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction captures the topic, but it could be more engaging or have a clearer thesis statement. Try to outline what each paragraph will discuss.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure the essay flows smoothly by connecting sentences and paragraphs better. Use transitional phrases like 'Firstly', 'Moreover', and 'In contrast' more effectively.
Task Achievement
There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. For example, 'bicycles have plethora of benefits' should be 'bicycles have a plethora of benefits.' Proofreading your essay for grammar and spelling mistakes is crucial.
Task Achievement
The ideas presented are relevant, but they need more detailed support. For instance, discuss specific studies or statistics about the health benefits of cycling or examples of cities where cycling is popular and its impacts.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a conclusion, which is good practice for task completion.
Task Achievement
The writer is making an effort to use a range of vocabulary, which adds depth to the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon emissions
  • motorized vehicles
  • traffic congestion
  • cost-effective
  • sense of community
  • harsh weather conditions
  • road accidents
  • physical disabilities
  • sustainable practices
  • health benefits
  • infrastructure
  • feasible option
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