In spite of advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this case? What can be done about this problem?
In recent times most people
argue
about Wrong verb form
have argued
having
world Unnecessary verb
apply
hunger
even if they
have great developments in agriculture. Correct pronoun usage
there
This
essay is going to provide some reasons for it and several solutions to reduce this
issue.
The main factors of the
Correct article usage
apply
hunger
around the world are inflation and corruption. It means,
all the products that we consume Remove the comma
apply
in
Change preposition
on
ordinary
day getting more expensive year by year, so Add an article
the ordinary
an ordinary
that
some families Correct word choice
apply
could not
afford Wrong verb form
cannot
foods
because of the prices. Fix the agreement mistake
food
In addition
, in many countries’
Correct your spelling
countries
government
sell Fix the agreement mistake
governments
the
crops to other nations just Correct article usage
apply
for getting
more money, Change preposition
to get
therefore
it could be noticeable the
shortage Correct article usage
a
in
certain foods. Change preposition
of
For instance
, Kazakhstan has a great soil and due to
it
they can grow plenty of natural and healthy crops for the whole country. Add a comma
it,
However
, most part of the harvest transfer
into Russia.
Fix the agreement mistake
transfers
Nevertheless
, there are some potential solutions that may help in reducing this
problem.
First of all, the costs of the foods
and of other stuff should be Fix the agreement mistake
food
check
strictly. SinceChange the form of the verb
checked
,
most households experienced Remove the comma
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
hunger
due to
the high prices for basic products in usual markets. For example
, the necessary products for human consumption like bread, water, milk and oil should not be sold more than its
real cost. Correct pronoun usage
their
Moreover
, the groups that fighting against corruptions
need improvement and more employees. Fix the agreement mistake
corruption
Thus
, government
will work more fairly for the residents and will not make any Add an article
the government
bribery
.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
bribes
this
essay illustrated reasons, examples and most importantly, the solutions for this
issue. Such
decisions not only reduce hunger
in the world but also
may solve other problems that damaging
the planet.Change the form of the verb
damage
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task achievement
The essay could benefit from a more explicit and clear central thesis in the introduction. Additionally, some points can be further elaborated for better clarity and depth. For example, the impacts of inflation on food availability can be more thoroughly discussed.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow between paragraphs. Some transitions can be smoother, and ideas could be connected better to ensure the essay reads more cohesively.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetition of certain phrases and words to keep the reader engaged. Varying sentence structure can also improve the readability of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a solid introduction and conclusion, clearly stating the topic and the suggested solutions.
supported main points
Main points are mostly relevant and supported with appropriate examples, like the case of Kazakhstan and its agricultural practices.
complete response
The essay addresses both parts of the prompt, identifying the reasons behind world hunger and suggesting possible solutions.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example