IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending.

The chart below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending.
#information #location #dance #classes #people #town #australia
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The two graphs illustrate data on the place and variety of
dance
Use synonyms
 tutors
teenagers
Change preposition
for teenagers
show examples
 in a small city in Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graphs that in
location
Add an article
the location
a location
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
dance
Correct article usage
the dance
show examples
 place percentage, the important figure is private studios.
In addition
Linking Words
, for types of
dance
Use synonyms
 classes by
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
 the main feature is ballet. For
location
Add an article
the location
show examples
 of
dance
Use synonyms
 classes, the main percentage has private studios at nearly
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half and the less significant percentage has school halls at approximately a quarter.
Moreover
Linking Words
, community halls and other places take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
18%,
while
Linking Words
 college-based studios have the minimum per cent at
exxactly
Correct your spelling
exactly
 10%. The highest amount of number for ages under 11 is ballet with just under 600 students. Tap and Modern types
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 less at just under 500 and 300 children, respectively. With
adolscents
Correct your spelling
adolescents
 who turn 11-16, the numbers
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
mirrorly
Correct your spelling
mirrored
mirror
 for
yongers
Correct your spelling
youngsters
. Balled has 300 students, tap has nearly 425 children, and modern
dance
Use synonyms
 with about 520 students has the
niggest
Correct your spelling
biggest
 number for all 11-16 aged people.
Submitted by Kawasaki on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words dance with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • distribution
  • attendance
  • community centers
  • dance schools
  • private studios
  • ballet
  • hip-hop
  • contemporary
  • ballroom
  • analysis
  • popularity
  • accessibility
  • cost
  • cultural trends
  • media influences
What to do next:
Look at other essays: