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Band 5

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending
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The given proportions illustrate information about the places and types of
dance
Use synonyms
 courses
in
Change preposition
apply
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which teenagers are currently attending in one of the towns of Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
,
dance
Use synonyms
 studios are located in several parts of a town, which may be comfortable for those participating.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, the types of
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 depend on age, and since it is for teenagers, there are not much number of groups. Turning to the details, over
a
Correct article usage
apply
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half per cent of studios are private, and
this
Linking Words
 figure is twice that of school halls, where teenagers can have
classes
Use synonyms
 only after how school lessons end. Probably, one-fifth of
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 are placed in community halls and other places,
also
Linking Words
 there is a tiny porch in comparison with college-based studios since their proportions are 18% and 10% respectively. Moving on next part, there are 3 types of
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
:
Remove the comma
apply
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 ballet, tap, and modern, and young people are separated into two groups: those under 11, and those between 11 and 16.
According to
Linking Words
 the number of students, most people under 11 participate in ballet,
while
Linking Words
 other groups are more interested in modern dances. Probably 400-450 youngsters
of
Change preposition
from
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 both
classes
Use synonyms
 take attendance in a tap.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words dance, classes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • distribution
  • attendance
  • community centers
  • dance schools
  • private studios
  • ballet
  • hip-hop
  • contemporary
  • ballroom
  • analysis
  • popularity
  • accessibility
  • cost
  • cultural trends
  • media influences
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