IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The diagram shows the process of manufacturing bottled and canned water. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The diagram shows the process of manufacturing bottled and canned water. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#process #water #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The table shows the sources of police income in
thre
Correct your spelling
the
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
as well as
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
amoun
Correct your spelling
amount
 of
Correct article usage
the annualy
show examples
annualy
Correct your spelling
annual
annually
 budget and the pie chart gives information about how the expenditures are distributed in an area in the UK, in 2017 and 2018.
Overall
, it can be clearly seen that the majority of
money
Add an article
the money
show examples
 came from
national
Add an article
the national
show examples
 government.
On the other hand
,the significant amount of spending was the wages of police officer employees.
To begin
 with
police
Correct article usage
the police
show examples
 budget, income from
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
 government slightly increased by about 2m, from 175.5m in 2017 to 177.8m in 2018. The major change was in local taxes, which went up
91.2
Change preposition
from 91.2
show examples
m to 102.3m.
Additionally
, there was no noticeable change in other sources, which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased by just 0.5m in a year. When it comes to outcomes distribution,
while
 the proportion of workers’ salaries rose, technological expenditures climbed by 6%.
In addition
, the percentage of spending
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 transportation and building remained stable.
Submitted by xxxx17 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words m with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • raw material sourcing
  • filtration
  • purification
  • bottling
  • canning
  • packaging
  • quality control
  • distribution
  • environmental considerations
  • process flow
  • manufacture
  • treatment
  • final product
What to do next:
Look at other essays: