People born today can expect to live longer than people in previous generations. What are some of the positive and negative implications of this phenomenon?
It is argued that individuals who are born nowadays are predicted to live more than increase in the rate of unemployment, which is the main
people
in the past This
essay will discuess
that living longer Correct your spelling
discuss
have
prone benefits , which are societies' Correct subject-verb agreement
has
health
will get better, and people
can stay more with their families. While the
main drawbacks of Correct word choice
The
this
phenomenon are unemployment
rate Correct article usage
the unemployment
grow
, and young Replace the word
growth
people
buy
more for taxes.
The main Wrong verb form
buying
advantages
of Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
people
live
longer than in the past Wrong verb form
living
are
public Correct subject-verb agreement
is
health
will improve. This
means individuals can get older with a
good Remove the article
apply
health
and low risk of diseases, which reduces the strain on health
care. Furtheremore
, when human beings live for many years, they can stay more with their families and have quality time with them. Correct your spelling
Furthermore
For example
, a recent study found that when children lost early their parents or grandparents, they felt alone and some of them committed crimes because of that.
On the other hand
, this
phenomenon leads toCorrect article usage
an
disadvatage
. when Correct your spelling
disadvantage
the
elderly Correct article usage
apply
people
stay a live
for more years, they will remain in their work, because many employers prefer Correct your spelling
alive
professionals
workers rather than Change the noun form
professional
fresh
graduated employees. Change the adjective
freshly
Moreover
, this
problem causes is
Verb problem
apply
the
young Correct article usage
apply
people
struggling
to find a job. Change the verb form
to struggle
Additionally
, the
young Correct article usage
apply
people
have to buy more for taxes due to
grow
of the population number.
In conclusion, if human beings stay Verb problem
the growth
a live
for more years than Correct your spelling
alive
people
in the past, they will have a good quality time with their families , and the public health
get
Change the verb form
gets
bette
, Correct your spelling
better
while
the main disadvatages
are Correct your spelling
disadvantages
disadvantage
unemployment
rate will increase and the young Correct article usage
the unemployment
people
will buy more for taxes.Submitted by saja.alotaibi on
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task achievement
Your essay has provided a complete response and you clearly address both the positive and negative implications of longer lifespans. However, there are grammatical and lexical errors that occasionally impede understanding. Focus on improving sentence structure and word choice to convey your ideas more clearly.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is clear, with distinct paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages. However, linking words and phrases are sometimes used incorrectly or are missing. Use cohesive devices more effectively to improve the flow of your writing.
task achievement
Your main points are generally supported, but the examples given are somewhat vague and not sufficiently relevant in some instances. Try to provide more detailed and specific examples that directly support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, but the introduction could be more engaging. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph clearly follows from the one before it to create a more cohesive essay.
task achievement
Your essay has a clear division of advantages and disadvantages, which makes it easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
You have included both an introduction and a conclusion, which provides a good structure to your essay.
task achievement
You address the topic directly and provide a complete response within the essay’s scope.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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