People born today can expect to live longer than people in previous generations. What are some of the positive and negative implications of this phenomenon?

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It is argued that individuals who are born nowadays are predicted to live more than
people
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in the past
This
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essay will
discuess
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discuss
that living longer
have
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has
show examples
prone benefits , which are societies'
health
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will get better, and
people
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can stay more with their families.
Linking Words
While the
Correct word choice
The
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main drawbacks of
this
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phenomenon are
unemployment
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the unemployment
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rate
grow
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growth
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, and young
people
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buy
Wrong verb form
buying
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more for taxes. The main
advantages
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advantage
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of
people
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live
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living
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longer than in the past
are
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is
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public
health
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will improve.
This
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means individuals can get older with
a
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apply
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good
health
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and low risk of diseases, which reduces the strain on
health
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care.
Furtheremore
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Furthermore
, when human beings live for many years, they can stay more with their families and have quality time with them.
For example
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, a recent study found that when children lost early their parents or grandparents, they felt alone and some of them committed crimes because of that.
On the other hand
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,
this
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phenomenon leads to
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an
show examples
increase in the rate of unemployment, which is the main
disadvatage
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disadvantage
. when
the
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apply
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elderly
people
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stay
a live
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alive
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for more years, they will remain in their work, because many employers prefer
professionals
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professional
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workers rather than
fresh
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freshly
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graduated employees.
Moreover
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,
this
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problem causes
is
Verb problem
apply
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the
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apply
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young
people
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struggling
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to struggle
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to find a job.
Additionally
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,
the
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apply
show examples
young
people
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have to buy more for taxes
due to
Linking Words
grow
Verb problem
the growth
show examples
of the population number. In conclusion, if human beings stay
a live
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alive
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for more years than
people
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in the past, they will have a good quality time with their families , and the public
health
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get
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gets
show examples
bette
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better
,
while
Linking Words
the main
disadvatages
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disadvantages
disadvantage
are
unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
show examples
rate will increase and the young
people
Use synonyms
will buy more for taxes.
Submitted by saja.alotaibi on

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task achievement
Your essay has provided a complete response and you clearly address both the positive and negative implications of longer lifespans. However, there are grammatical and lexical errors that occasionally impede understanding. Focus on improving sentence structure and word choice to convey your ideas more clearly.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is clear, with distinct paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages. However, linking words and phrases are sometimes used incorrectly or are missing. Use cohesive devices more effectively to improve the flow of your writing.
task achievement
Your main points are generally supported, but the examples given are somewhat vague and not sufficiently relevant in some instances. Try to provide more detailed and specific examples that directly support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, but the introduction could be more engaging. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph clearly follows from the one before it to create a more cohesive essay.
task achievement
Your essay has a clear division of advantages and disadvantages, which makes it easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
You have included both an introduction and a conclusion, which provides a good structure to your essay.
task achievement
You address the topic directly and provide a complete response within the essay’s scope.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • seasoned workforce
  • health advancements
  • chronic conditions
  • social welfare systems
  • pension plans
  • policy adjustments
  • aging population
  • cultural experiences
  • loneliness
  • mental health
  • geriatric care
  • consumption of resources
  • environmental stresses
  • climate change
  • resource depletion
What to do next:
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