In many countries, individuals or their employers pay for medical treatment. Should the government be more responsible for the health of their citizens? Discuss and give your opinion.
In some developed nations,the
government
is responsible for taking care of the health of their citizens while
in other countries
individuals or their companies pay for the medical treatment. Government
should be responsible for that I partially agree with this
statement and further
in this
essay , I will explain my point of view with some examples.
To begin
with , In poor countries
such
as Sudan if the government
takes responsibility for healthy citizens then
definitely it willbe
Correct your spelling
will be
aburden
on the Correct your spelling
a burden
burden
government
because as
the majority of Correct word choice
apply
people
in undeveloped countries
are not paying taxes. As a result
,Poverty will increase in the state and people
can involved in criminal activities such
as theft ,murder etc for food and basic necessities. for example
,
Secondly
, In developed nations like the USA , Canada and Japan in developed countries
government
is paying hospital bills for their citizens because in these countries
people
are paying more taxes. For example
, research revealed that many people
take
benefit Verb problem
apply
of
Change preposition
from
government
facilities, they consume have
Unnecessary verb
apply
medicine
for small diseases like colds and coughs because they are getting medicine
free of cost and as we know consuming more medicine
is not good for health
even though it affects Correct pronoun usage
our health
on
our vital organs.
Change preposition
apply
To conclude
, In developing countries
, the government
should start a policy in which poor people
should get medicine
at a lower price, I believe that this
trend is also
good for the government
to boost the country's economy and for individuals as well to get medicine
at a low cost to treat their disease.Submitted by preetiaug25 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Strengthen your thesis statement by being clearer about your position (partially agree) and the main points you will discuss.
task response
Improve the clarity of your arguments by providing more detailed explanations and examples. Additionally, ensure each paragraph has a clear main point supported by evidence.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the logical flow by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. This can be done by using more linking words and phrases.
task response
Develop your conclusion further by summarizing the key points discussed and reaffirming your partially agreed position clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Be consistent with your paragraph structure, making sure each paragraph contains a clear main idea, supporting evidence, and a brief conclusion/transition.
task response
You have introduced the topic effectively and presented your position, which sets the stage for your arguments.
task response
You have made an effort to provide specific examples to support your arguments, which adds depth to your discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!