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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table and chart show data from a survey of library users.

The table and chart show data from a survey of library users.
#show #data #survey #library #users
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The graphs illustrate information about
library
Use synonyms
 users from different age
groups
Use synonyms
, and three reasons for visiting it ( for research , borrow books , and borrow newspapers) in 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the
show examples
16 to
17 year old
Add a hyphen
17-year-old
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group
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
had
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 the highest number of
library
Use synonyms
 visitors
while
Linking Words
 most of the
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
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think
Wrong verb form
thought
show examples
Use synonyms
library
Add an article
the library
a library
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is
Wrong verb form
was
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 essential.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, all age
groups
Use synonyms
 were using the
library
Use synonyms
 for research, and the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of used
library
Use synonyms
 was in
borrow
Wrong verb form
borrowed
show examples
 newspapers.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of people who were using
Use synonyms
library
Add an article
the library
show examples
 was the
teenegers
Correct your spelling
teenagers
 by nearly three quarters,
while
Linking Words
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of both
18
Correct article usage
the 18
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-24 years old
group
Use synonyms
 and
Adult
Correct article usage
the Adult
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 was ( 58% and 54% respectively).
Moreover
Linking Words
, 74% of adults thought that
Use synonyms
library
Correct article usage
the library
show examples
 was essential, which was the biggest
percentage
Use synonyms
overall
Linking Words
. In terms of reasons
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 using
Use synonyms
library
Add an article
the library
a library
show examples
, all
groups
Use synonyms
 used it for search and the highest proportion was in
Correct article usage
the
show examples
16-17 years old
group
Use synonyms
 above 50%
while
Linking Words
 the proportion for both
groups
Use synonyms
 18-24 and 25-29 was around 40%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 was in
borrow
Change the verb form
borrowing
show examples
newspapaers
Correct your spelling
newspapers
 in all age
groups
Use synonyms
 aged about 20%.
Submitted by saja.alotaibi on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words library, groups, group, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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