Marriages are bigger and more expensive nowadays than in the past. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, Young
couples
consider more preparations for their wedding ceremony
, preparations that may not be important. So they have to pay more. In my view, the drawbacks are greater than the benefits. In this
essay, both pros and cons will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
On the one hand, it has some positive points. Initially
,throughout their lives, people
are constantly trying to work and earn money so that they can spend it in
important situations in their lives.
Change preposition
on
In other words
, young people
who are planning to get married have save
money throughout their lives to spend on occasions Replace the word
saved
such
as weddings and honeymoons.For example
, some couples
work non-stop after dating for several years and save more money so that they can have a better wedding ceremony
and maybe choose a very nice destination for their honeymoon so that they can have a better memory of when they started their life.
On the other hand
,every coin has two sides. Firstly
, this days
because Change the determiner
this day
these days
people
are constantly competing with each other, they always try to provide a better life for themselves, which may make people
have to pay expenses that are not necessary. To be mors
precise, some traditions related to the wedding Correct your spelling
more
ceremony
, which today may be held in the wedding ceremony
, will cause young couples
to pay more and be in a bad situation. To examplify
, Correct your spelling
exemplify
couples
can serve a few food models to show their wedding ceremony
magnificently or choose a luxury destination for their honeymoon.
In conclusion, on the basis of the points above, it is better for young couples
to hold a normal wedding ceremony
considering their budget as well as
their living conditions and needs so that they don't have problems paying the expenses.So from my perspective, the demerits overpower the merits.Submitted by rezvanmansoori388 on
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task achievement
You have provided a clear stance on the topic and discussed both the positive and negative aspects. However, strive for more balanced examples and explanations to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a logical structure with distinct paragraphs. Try to make smoother transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Ensure that all key points are supported with more detailed examples to provide stronger support for your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetitiveness and aim for more variety in sentence structures to keep the reader engaged.
coherence cohesion
Polish your introduction and conclusion to succinctly wrap up your main points and emphasize your stance.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion clearly summarizes your argument and reiterates your viewpoint, which helps in creating a cohesive essay.
task achievement
The essay contains several points that show an understanding of the topic, such as the influence of societal competition and the idea of saving for significant life events.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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