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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table and charts below give informations on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

The table and charts below give informations on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant
#informations #police #budget #area #britain #money #show #information #features #comparison
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The table shows the
sources
Use synonyms
 of
budget
Use synonyms
 in 2017 and 2018,
while
Linking Words
 the pie charts illustrate the data on
money
Use synonyms
 expenditure in the same years.
Overall
Linking Words
, the total
budget
Use synonyms
 was higher in 2018 including income by each of the
sources
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 salaries were paid more in 2017,
although
Linking Words
 the
budget
Use synonyms
 was less than in 2018.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the same amount of
money
Use synonyms
 was spent on buildings and transport.
Overall
Linking Words
, the total
budget
Use synonyms
 in 2017 was equal to 304.7
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
, which was mostly formed by the national government as the main source, particularly 175.5
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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earned by them. Local taxes brought 91.2
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the least role belonged to other
sources
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as grants and many others, which constituted 38
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, there was no sharp difference in the budgets of 2017 and 2018, as in 2018 the
budget
Use synonyms
 made up 318.6
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the same trend in formation was observed in 2018, as the national government played the crucial role of 177.8
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
, meanwhile, other
sources
Use synonyms
 presented 38.5
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 in both years
money
Use synonyms
 was mostly spent on the salaries of staff and officers, exactly 75% and 69% respectively in 2017 and 2018.
Although
Linking Words
 more
money
Use synonyms
 was spent on technology in 2018, when it constituted 14%,
Correct word choice
and
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8% in 2017, the same contribution of 17% was seen on buildings and transport in both years.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although, overall, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sources, budget, money, million, pounds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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