Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, inspite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is
denying
the fact that individuals should live all Rephrase
no denying
there
periods Correct your spelling
their
are happiness
, Wrong verb form
happily
while
it is commonly held believed
that the teenage years are the happiest, there are Verb problem
apply
also
arguments against this
idea. In my opinion, I completely agree with
the teenage Change preposition
that
year
are the best. On one hand, Fix the agreement mistake
years
proponent
Fix the agreement mistake
proponents
the
idea that adult life brings more happiness argue Change preposition
of the
the
people Correct your spelling
that
has
more margin to do their activities without restrictions , Change the verb form
have
In other
words
they have no rules applied Add the comma(s)
words,
on
themChange preposition
to
so
. They Rephrase
apply
believes
that more likely adult people Change the verb form
believe
they
are parents and Correct pronoun usage
apply
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
family
so happiest moment when spend with Add an article
a family
your
children, A study in 2022 by the Pew Research Centre found that 75% of adults report higher life satisfaction when they feel they have control over their lives.
On Correct pronoun usage
their
other
hand, how support thought teenage years are Correct article usage
the other
happiest
time argue individuals Correct article usage
the happiest
has
less social commitment based on Change the verb form
have
that a
wide range of Correct determiner usage
the
decision
they can Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
do
regardless of Verb problem
make
Add an article
the result
result
, Fix the agreement mistake
results
in
addition
the little experience and Add the comma(s)
addition,
challenge
, young people face in their life that impact in Fix the agreement mistake
challenges
bad
way in their personalities and make them more happiness, Change the article
a bad
For
example
student in high school they just responsible in their school and they their parents should afford Add a comma
example,
every thing
to them.
Correct your spelling
everything
Moreover
, teenager tend
to Change the verb form
tends
grouping
in communities, therefor there are significant opportunities to do more Change the verb form
group
activity
and Fix the agreement mistake
activities
sharing
their stories and memories.
In conclusion, Wrong verb form
share
due to
the fewer responsibility
and increasing Fix the agreement mistake
responsibilities
impower
.I believe the teenage years are the happiest timeCorrect your spelling
empowerment
Submitted by rami_agha77 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
grammar
Ensure that you proofread your essay to correct any grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures. For example, 'There is denying the fact' should be 'There is no denying the fact' and 'while it is commonly held believed' should be 'while it is commonly believed'.
structure
Organize your ideas more clearly, ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details that relate directly to it. The transitional phrases could also be smoother to enhance readability and logical flow.
content
Expand on your points with more specific examples and explanations to better illustrate your main ideas. For instance, you could provide more detailed scenarios about how teenagers experience less pressure or how adults find joy in different responsibilities.
content
Your essay attempts to discuss both views and provide an opinion, which is a critical aspect of task achievement.
content
You included a study to support one of your points, demonstrating an effort to use specific evidence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.