IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

School uniforms should be mandatory in all schools. Do you agree or disagree?

#school #uniforms #schools
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It is inevitable thought that
schools
Use synonyms
 must
be made
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
compulsory
Correct pronoun usage
it compulsory
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 to wear
school
Use synonyms
 attire.
This
Linking Words
 essay believes that
although
Linking Words
school
Use synonyms
uniforms
Use synonyms
 create an essence of equality among
students
Use synonyms
,
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 negative aspects like
burden
Correct article usage
the burden
show examples
 on parents to buy a new uniform cannot be neglected.
School
Use synonyms
uniforms
Use synonyms
, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
wear
Wrong verb form
worn
show examples
 by
students
Use synonyms
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 at
school
Use synonyms
brings
Correct subject-verb agreement
bring
show examples
 equality
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
school
Use synonyms
 is a place where
students
Use synonyms
 from different cultures,
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
 and
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
 are learned together without facing any discrimination on
Correct article usage
the prospective
show examples
prospective
Correct your spelling
perspective
show examples
 of clothing.
This
Linking Words
 makes
Use synonyms
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 happy, regardless
focusing
Change preposition
of focusing
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 on appearance, maintaining a good balance between an academic score and personal life, thereby
enhances
Wrong verb form
enhancing
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 quality
life
Change preposition
of life
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, in India, it is found that a gap of social status is reduced in all
schools
Use synonyms
 as
students
Use synonyms
 are more focused on studies
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
while
Linking Words
 comparing each other in terms of fashion.
However
Linking Words
,
school
Use synonyms
 uniform creates
burden
Add an article
a burden
show examples
 on parent's shoulders. The reason is that all
schools
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 different policies,
such
Linking Words
 as different
uniforms
Use synonyms
 on different
week days
Correct your spelling
weekdays
show examples
, which not only creates stress on parent's
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 financially expensive.
For instance
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most parents in southern Africa cannot be able to afford one set of
uniforms
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their children because of monetary
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay,
therefore
Linking Words
, argues that, because of
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of different sets of
uniforms
Use synonyms
 in one week,
schools
Use synonyms
’
uniforms
Use synonyms
 should not be made compulsory in all
schools
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, for
students
Use synonyms
 to bring equality among themselves,
although
Linking Words
 they can
be benefitted
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 wearing
school
Use synonyms
uniforms
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 essay believes that both positive and negative aspects of making
Use synonyms
schools uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
school uniforms
show examples
 mandatory cannot be ignored.
Submitted by bhullarsuman61 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your thesis statement (introduction) reflects both the positive and negative aspects you will discuss in your essay, and that your conclusion clearly summarizes your stance.
task achievement
Proofread your essay for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. This will help your ideas come across more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Transitional phrases can help make connections clearer.
task achievement
Where possible, bring forth more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea or argument. This will help improve the clarity and coherence of your writing.
task achievement
You have presented a balanced viewpoint by considering both the positive and negative aspects of the topic, which demonstrates ability to think critically.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and provides relevant examples, which are important for supporting your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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