IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You study at an evening class. Last week your teacher asked you to write an essay over the weekend. However, you had a problem that stopped you from finishing the essay. Write a letter to a teacher. In your letter, -Outline the subject of your essay -Describe the problem you had, -Explain how and when you will finish the essay?

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to apologise for not being able to submit an
essay
Use synonyms
 over the weekend. The topic for my
essay
Use synonyms
 was ( the
essay
Use synonyms
 topic was writing on “Advantages and Disadvantages of Social
media
Capitalize word
Media
show examples
” which deadline was Friday evening. Unfortunately, I was unable to complete the
essay
Use synonyms
 on time
due to
Linking Words
unexpected
Correct article usage
an unexpected
show examples
 issue. The reason for not finishing the
essay
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 was that I had a car accident on the way
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
home on that day.
Although
Linking Words
 the accident was not serious, I was immediately admitted to
hospital
Correct article usage
the hospital
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 and not allowed to leave until
doctor
Correct article usage
the doctor
show examples
clear
Wrong verb form
cleared
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 all the paperwork. I understand how crucial to write
this
Linking Words
essay
Use synonyms
 was,
Therefore
Linking Words
, I decided to review
with
Correct pronoun usage
it with
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 one
my
Change preposition
of my
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friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
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, Sandra Brown, who can help me put down my
thought
Fix the agreement mistake
thoughts
show examples
 on paper and
submitted
Wrong verb form
submit
show examples
 my
essay
Use synonyms
 on Saturday afternoon. By the end of today, I call her myself and borrow her laptop in order to submit the
essay
Use synonyms
 by tomorrow afternoon. I hope you will forgive me and understand my circumstances. Yours faithfully Sumanpreet Kaur

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coherence cohesion
It seems there were a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasing in your letter. For example, 'The topic for my essay was ( the essay topic was writing on “Advantages and Disadvantages of Social media” which deadline was Friday evening.' You could write this more clearly as: 'The topic for my essay was 'The Advantages and Disadvantages of Social Media,' and it was due by Friday evening.'
task achievement
You have provided all the necessary information, but you could benefit from expanding a bit more on how you plan to ensure the essay is completed on time and perhaps mentioning any assistance you'll seek from your teacher if needed.
task achievement
You've clearly outlined the subject of your essay and explained the problem that prevented you from completing it.
task achievement
The letter has an appropriate tone and is polite, which is suitable for the context of writing to a teacher.
coherence cohesion
You've included a clear greeting and closing, which adds to the formality and appropriateness of the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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