some people think that children should follow their parents' advice, however, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The influence of the
parents
' advice on children
's decisions
is a topic that evokes diverse opinions. Some people contend that taking guidance from the parents
is advantageous while
others oppose this
opinion. I think children
should be allowed to make decisions
, but they need guidance and support from their parents
to follow the directions favourable to them.
Supporters of juveniles taking suggestions from their parents
say that parental advice helps children
make better decisions
and choose the right direction through the value of experience parents
bring. They contend that the parents
have a keen understanding and a good knowledge of the world, which can assist children
in making informed decisions
about their education, health, and interests leading to saving time and money and resulting in better outcomes among children
.
Conversely
, some people support the opinion of children
making their decisions
without parental interference as it fosters critical thinking and the essential skills, needed for adult life. They assert that becoming independent and responsible at an early age ultimately, leads to greater personal satisfaction, among children
. Even, if, the children
make mistakes or fail, they will be able to gain experiences and learn from their mistakes. Therefore
, allowing children
to make their own decisions
potentially makes the children
innovative and unconventional.
While
I respect the value of parents
suggesting or recommending their children
, I lean more towards the children
's making their decisions
themselves which will not only make them self-reliant but also
good for their holistic development. To illustrate, by making their own decisions
children
will be able to define and address the problem as well as
find the solutions, broadening their knowledge on various aspects.
In conclusion, helping children
with their decisions
can bring favourable outcomes and prevent children
from making mistakes ; however
, advising children
on every step is likely to make them reliant on their parents
and confused about their needs.Submitted by kulanmolnaib on
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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to illustrate your points. This will make your arguments more persuasive and relatable for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs to further enhance the logical flow of your essay.
general
Work on reducing minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings to improve readability.
introduction
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for discussing both viewpoints and your own opinion.
conclusion
You have provided a clear conclusion that summarizes your stance while acknowledging the other perspective.
main points
Your main points are well-supported with logical arguments, showing a good understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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