As a result of tourism and the increased number of people travelling, there is a growing demand for more flights. What problems does this have on the environment? What measures could be taken to solve the problems?
Nowadays traveling by flying is considered one of the safest ways of travel. Planes have come a long way
of
upgrades to have a strong title of safety. As for emissions, flying Change preposition
in
used
only 2,5 Wrong verb form
uses
percent
of the Change the spelling
per cent
world
's carbon
emission
yearly, and earlier studies show that only 10 Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
percent
of the Change the spelling
per cent
world
flies in most years. By 2019 annual world-wide
passenger count was 4,56 billion people, but each year as the incomes rise, there’s a bigger demand for Correct your spelling
worldwide
traveling
and flights, resulting in an emission rate doubling.
Change the spelling
travelling
Firstly
, carbon
emissions are growing faster and bigger each year, resulting in global warming and disappearance
of wild animal species. As we all know global warming has been a dangerously important topic for the Correct article usage
the disappearance
last
10+ years. It is a worldwide problem
of
Change preposition
apply
whom
we see consequences every year. Correct word choice
and
For example
, flowers growing in Antarctica shows
us a serious warming Correct subject-verb agreement
show
problem
caused by greenhouse gases all over the world
, another example is the disappearance of white bears in Antarctica, which tells us the dangerous consequences of pollution and carbon
footprints.
Secondly
, because of the bigger demand of
Change preposition
for
traveling
by air, flights are held more often, increasing the chance of plane crashes or other technical difficulties. We live in a Change the spelling
travelling
world
full of technologies but we can’t outrun them or predict how would they react to different situations. Obviously, if there’s too much pressure for
the plane or other technologies, they will not run as smoothly as new.
Change preposition
on
However
, as global warming is still a big worldwide problem
, there have been actions taken by every country. Most countries choose to replace carbon
fuels with renewable energy ones
, Correct pronoun usage
apply
for
example
sun, wind or water energy. Add the comma(s)
example,
On the other hand
, people are creating more carbon neutral
gases to reduce additional Add a hyphen
carbon-neutral
carbon
waste. Also
people have been encouraged to sort their trash to keep a cleaner earth and save the animals from pollution deaths.
In conclusion, Add a comma
Also,
carbon
emission is a big worldwide problem
causing not only global warming but also
harms wild animal species and human lives. But only we, as earth residents can reduce danger and keep our home
clean and safe from pollution.Fix the agreement mistake
homes
Submitted by oimigle on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
To improve task response, ensure that each main point is thoroughly elaborated with relevant details, examples, and explanations. Some points in your essay could be expanded further to provide greater depth.
coherence cohesion
Your essay can benefit from better paragraph transitions and more cohesive devices. This will help the overall flow and connectivity of ideas, enhancing the reader's understanding.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured and effectively introduce and wrap up the topic.
task achievement
You demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic and effectively outline the problems and solutions related to environmental issues caused by increased air travel.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example