Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, inspite of great responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

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A group of
idividuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
present the view that
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
are more happy than
adults
,
whereas
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
believe that people are more satisfied
about
Change the preposition
with
show examples
their lives when they are
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
. I strongly agree with the latter
opiniopn
Correct your spelling
opinion
. On the one hand, some people justifiably argue that they can enjoy
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
life when they are
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
. They are in
believ
Correct your spelling
believe
belief
that
adults
often have income and are independent.
Thus
, they can make
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
regardless of their
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
opinions.
T hy
Correct your spelling
They
are old enough to travel alone.
Such
individuals are able to spend their money on whatever they want.
As a result
, there is no pressure on them and they can make
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
about their futures. Having
such
freedom
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
them happiness. As an example,
parents
in some cases force children to
choos
Correct your spelling
choose
their entertainment
according to
parent's
desieres
Correct your spelling
desires
. It is possible that a teenager wants to play football
while
their
parents
force them to play a musical instrument.
On the other hand
,
an other
Correct your spelling
another
show examples
group of people claim that they have
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
joyful time in their teenage years as they have
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
responsibilities in
compare
Replace the word
comparison
show examples
to
sdults
Correct your spelling
adults
. They do not
necessarly
Correct your spelling
necessarily
need to have
incom
Correct your spelling
income
as their
parents
provide them with money. Supporting family members in hard
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
is really demanding and nobody
expect
Change the verb form
expects
show examples
children to solve hard problems.
Adults
should be always there for family members.
Teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
Teenagers
show examples
are often
easy going
Correct your spelling
easygoing
show examples
and do not
every thing
Correct your spelling
everything
show examples
serious
Change the word
seriously
show examples
.
Therefore
, they have less stressful lives.
However
, I do not find
this
argument convincing as
adults
have
broaden
Wrong verb form
broadened
show examples
horizons
Correct pronoun usage
their horizons
show examples
an are and are able reach to huge dreams.
For instance
, they can have a dream
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
going to dangerous places, like high rise
mountain
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mountains
show examples
,
while
teenagers often are not allowed to go to
such
places.
To conclude
, in my view, individuals are more happy when they are
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
. They can earn money and spend it in every field that they want.
Moreover
,
adults
are more
proable
Correct your spelling
likely
to reach their dreams and enjoy them.
Submitted by fa.soleiman on

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grammar
Review and correct grammatical errors to improve readability and understanding.
structure
Ensure that each paragraph is well-structured with a clear topic sentence and supporting details. Some paragraphs lack clarity and coherence.
examples
Expand on examples to make them more comprehensive and relevant to the point being made. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
task response
The essay attempts to address both views, which is a key requirement of the task.
structure
A clear introduction and conclusion are present, which provides a good structure to the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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