IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Individuals should improve the environment or is it the government and large companies that should take action? agree or disagree.

#individuals #environment #government #companies #action
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Some people argue that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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ordinary citizens should take
an
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apply
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action
,
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apply
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 because it is their responsibility to upgrade the
environment
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, but others believe that it is
obligation
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the obligation
an obligation
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 of huge companies and
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government
Correct article usage
the government
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.
This
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 essay
is completely agree
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completely agrees
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 that the
government
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 should take care of
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environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
, and I am going to provide some reasons, arguments and examples for it. First of all, it is obvious that all factories and large enterprises cause plenty of
pollutions
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pollution
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 and problems
into
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on
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 the Earth, and they
all
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are all
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 controlled only by
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government
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the government
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.
Therefore
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, administrations should ensure those buildings with some stuff to stop these contaminations and keep our planet in safety.
For instance
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, in Switzerland rulers provide factories with filters that will not transfer all pollution to air and water which citizens consume, so that their
nature
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 is completely neat, and the air is immaculate.
Secondly
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, governments need to add some strict rules to the country, so they are
also
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 accountable for making them. Since people
responsible
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are responsible
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 too for the purity and protection of
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environment
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the environment
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, the laws will affect all the residents, and the
nature
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 of
this
Linking Words
 nation will be saved.
For example
Linking Words
, in Kazakhstan
government
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 made some rules about
nature
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 protection,
the
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and the
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 residents will get penalties and maybe cruel punishments
according to
Linking Words
 their violation of laws. After the announcement of these
rules
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rules,
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 the ratio of emissions significantly decreased. In conclusion, rulers should take care of
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environment
Add an article
the environment
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, so that they have all
opportunities
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the opportunities
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 to do it.
However
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, individuals
also
Linking Words
 need to look after
of
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apply
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their deeds, because they have
large
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a large
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 impact on
safety
Add an article
the safety
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 of
nature
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.
Submitted by a.seytzhanova on

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task achievement
Work on ensuring that your main points are fully developed and supported with relevant examples. This will enhance the clarity and effectiveness of your arguments.
general
Pay attention to language accuracy and vary your sentence structures to make your essay more engaging and readable.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that help to frame your essay effectively.
relevant specific examples
You used relevant specific examples to support your main points, particularly with the Switzerland and Kazakhstan examples.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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