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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the number of people taking parts in 4 kinds of sports in a particular region between 1985 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the number of people taking parts in 4 kinds of sports in a particular region between 1985 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#people #parts #kinds #sports #region #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line chart illustrates amounts of humans that practice four various kinds of sport namely basketball, tennis , badminton and rugby from
year
Use synonyms
 1985 to 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most significant feature is
about
Change preposition
that
show examples
Correct article usage
the
show examples
basketball and badminton
players
Use synonyms
 figures changed slightly throughout the 20 years
while
Linking Words
rugby
Change preposition
in rugby
show examples
 and tennis
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the
number
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
players
Use synonyms
 swapped dramatically.
To begin
Linking Words
 with
Correct article usage
the numbers
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
practicer of
Replace the word
practising
show examples
 rugby sports
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
records
Fix the agreement mistake
record
show examples
 the highest
number
Use synonyms
 in the
year
Use synonyms
 1985 at roughly 250
then
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 dropped sharply to 50
players
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.
However
Linking Words
, tennis
players
Use synonyms
 numbers were 150 after twenty years
Use synonyms
number
Add an article
the number
show examples
 increased gradually to 220
players
Use synonyms
 in the
year
Use synonyms
 2005.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, badminton
players
Use synonyms
figure
Verb problem
apply
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 approximately 50 in the
year
Use synonyms
 1985 and remained the same till the end of time with
Correct article usage
a slightly
show examples
slightly changed
Replace the word
slight change
show examples
also
Linking Words
 basketball games
players
Use synonyms
 were I
totally
Change the word
total
show examples
almost
Change preposition
of almost
show examples
 75 and
this
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
 didn't change from the
year
Use synonyms
 1985 to 2005.
Submitted by may.al.zemami on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words year, players, number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • participation rate
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • peak
  • stable
  • comparative analysis
  • dominance
  • decline
  • steady growth
  • significant change
  • regional popularity
  • time period
  • sports activities
  • data representation
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