Some people say that punishment is the best way to teach children to behave well, while others disagree and point out that rewarding and praising them is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #punishment #children #point

There are some people who believe that the best way to educate a

child

is through

punishment

However

, some people argue

that is

not the best solution.

This

essay aims to discuss both perspectives and to express my opinion towards it. It is argued that

punishment

at a young age can lead to discipline, awareness of consequences, and what is right or wrong. The main common

education

is through the "reward" approach, where if the

child

does something right, there is a reward, and if the

child

does not do something

correct

Change the adjective

correctly

show examples

, a

punishment

can happen to teach that infant not to repeat the behaviour. To illustrate, if a

child

achieves good grades at school, the parents can give a present.

However

, if the kid

did

Wrong verb form

does

show examples

not acquire a good result, they may not be able to use their phones for a week.

Although

some people like

this

approach, I personally believe that it can cause traumas

such

as fear of making decisions

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and lack of confidence.

On the other hand

, there is a new parenting trend called "positive

education

". Positive

education

is about creating a safe and positive environment where kids can make decisions and mistakes.

This

framework can help to build resilient kids,

develop

Correct word choice

and develop

show examples

their decision-making and problem-solving skills. Parents or guardians,

instead

of punishing the kid for something, explain to the

child

why it is wrong and why it cannot happen again. To exemplify, if the children do not want to eat vegetables for dinner,

instead

of not giving them

desert

Correct your spelling

dessert

show examples

afterwards, it is explained why vegetables are crucial to having good health. Even though

this

framework can bring a lot of independence in

education

, it has challenges

such

as creating boundaries.

To sum up

child

education

is a delicate topic. There are

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

of discussions regarding

punishment

and positive

education

. Both views have benefits and advantages.

However

, I believe that raising a

child

in a safe place can bring more positive outcomes. I advocate for positive

education

, creating a space of love and not fear.

Submitted by nathmoura on Sun Sep 15 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

To improve your task response, ensure that both perspectives are equally elaborated upon and provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more comprehensive and engaging.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to the logical flow of ideas. Although the essay is generally well-structured, transitioning between ideas more smoothly can enhance coherence and cohesion. Use cohesive devices and linking phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs effectively.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your arguments effectively.

task achievement

You addressed the task well by discussing both views and giving your own opinion, providing a balanced response to the prompt.

task achievement

The use of relevant examples strengthens your arguments and makes your points more relatable and easier to understand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

339 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

punishment
reward
reinforcement
discipline
boundary
behavior
self-esteem
motivation
intrinsic
consequence
fear
anxiety
resentment
positive learning environment
balanced approach

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas.
Existance of poors damages both groups, the rich and the poor. Over the last decades we can see powerful countries are trying to protect and help developing countries. They are insisting on that all countries should be developed and the power should be balanced between them. It is obvious that countries help each other, especially poorers to make this balance. I think it is an excellent idea, poorer countries will be improved and world dicipline can be handled easier. I believe it helps poorer economies to stay well as western countries are.
7
band
The Vital Role of Banking in Promoting Economic Growth and Development.
The banking system is a complex structure that plays a vital role in promoting economic growth and development. At its core, it is designed to facilitate the flow of money between saving and borrowing individuals, serving two main categories of customers: savers and borrowers. Although these two groups may seem disparate, their interactions are inextricably linked, forming a symbiotic relationship that is the lifeblood of the banking system.
7.5
band
in many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, the average lifespan has been increasing all over the world. Some may argue that the ageing population creates difficulties for society, while others believe that it could lead to more merits for the public. This essay will discuss both views, before presenting my own.
<4
band
Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both these views!
There are many people who believe that ourselves are in charge of taking care of our health and diet. I do agree with this approach cause I think individuals should be responsible to this matter. But the next step, it is so important that government must make sure about healthy diet of their citizens. As well as, having supporting laws, strategies and action plans to improve the general rate of health in society. So, I do think some responsibilities are related to individuals but some are governance duties.
9
band
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters(such as food, clothes, and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
A group of individuals present the view that youngsters who are allowed to decide and choose their preferences on different subjects such as food, clothing and entertainment tend to put their own wishes above others in the future, whereas others believe that children should be allowed to decide on things which are associated with them. I wholeheartedly agree with the latter opinion as it plays a vital role in their growth process.

Some people say that punishment is the best way to teach children to behave well, while others disagree and point out that rewarding and praising them is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas.

The Vital Role of Banking in Promoting Economic Growth and Development.

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both these views!