Some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and work of arts by using a computer. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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In the contemporary epoch , there is
heated
Add an article
a heated
the heated

The noun phrase heated argument seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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argument over the issue that
museums
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
art
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

galleries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will not be needed
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because

If you don’t want beacuse to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can use
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers

It seems that computer may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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watch
art
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
galleries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. I disagree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

statement . I would highlight my perspective which will lead to a logical condition. To commence, I see eye to eye with the given aspect for multifarious reasons. First and
formost
Correct your spelling
foremost

If you don’t want formost to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, Historical buildings play a vital role in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives

It seems that life may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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where we can learn
plethora
Add an article
a plethora

The noun phrase plethora seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of things.
People
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can have an immersive
experince
Correct your spelling
experience

If you don’t want experince to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

of being
sorrounded
Correct your spelling
surrounded

If you don’t want sorrounded to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

by exquisite paintings and sculptures. Probing ahead , Public
museums
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
art
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

galleries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are good for
ameliorate
Change the verb form
ameliorating

The verb ameliorate may be in the wrong form after the preposition for. Consider changing it to the gerund form.

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the
economy
Replace the word
economic

The word economy doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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growth . seeing all the things close distance
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps

It seems that the verb help does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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us , come to know about culture and tradition and get deeper knowledge how our ancestors .
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, In India there is one renowned museum located in Anadpur
shib
Change the capitalization
Shib

If you don’t want shib to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

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we
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can get
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot

If you don’t want alot to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

of knowledge by seeing them properly . They can explore different
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types

It seems that type may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of things and meet
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

where they can share their
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences

It seems that experience may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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about different places
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

. It helps
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to
bulid
Correct your spelling
build

If you don’t want bulid to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

new
relation
Replace the word
relationships

The word relation doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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with
another ones
Replace the adjective
another one
other ones

The adjective another appears to be modifying the plural noun ones. Consider replacing it with the adjective other.

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Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
museums
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are considered tourist attractions and
therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

have a significant financial profit. When visitors go to these facilities, they often purchase food and other items in the neighbourhood. As an effect, not only the museum but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the nearby businesses benefit. To recapitulate,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it is easier to access artwork information
through
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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online
but
Remove the conjunction
apply

It appears that the word but is unnecessary in this sentence. Consider removing it.

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it is still necessary for the public to
physical
Change the word
physically

Physical seems to be the wrong part of speech for this context.

show examples
attend public
museums
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
art
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

galleries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to appreciate the artwork.

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Grammar
Ensure precise grammar and spelling. For example, 'First and formost' should be 'First and foremost,' and 'beacuse' should be 'because.'
Coherence & Cohesion
Clarify your main points and ensure they logically progress. Some ideas seem slightly disjointed or repetitive.
Task Response
Develop your arguments further with deeper analysis and more specific examples. This will improve the depth of your essay.
Structure
The introduction and conclusion are coherent and do summarize your stance well.
Task Response
You've effectively highlighted some key advantages of physical museums and art galleries, like economic growth and cultural learning.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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