Some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and work of arts by using a computer. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
In the contemporary epoch , there is
heated
argument over the issue that Add an article
a heated
the heated
museums
and art
galleries
will not be needed beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
people
can use computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
for
watch Change preposition
to
art
and galleries
. I disagree with this
statement . I would highlight my perspective which will lead to a logical condition.
To commence, I see eye to eye with the given aspect for multifarious reasons. First and formost
, Historical buildings play a vital role in our Correct your spelling
foremost
life
where we can learn Fix the agreement mistake
lives
plethora
of things. Add an article
a plethora
People
can have an immersive experince
of being Correct your spelling
experience
sorrounded
by exquisite paintings and sculptures. Probing ahead , Public Correct your spelling
surrounded
museums
and art
galleries
are good for ameliorate
the Change the verb form
ameliorating
economy
growth . seeing all the things close distance Replace the word
economic
help
us , come to know about culture and tradition and get deeper knowledge how our ancestors . Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
For example
, In India there is one renowned museum located in Anadpur shib
we Change the capitalization
Shib
people
can get alot
of knowledge by seeing them properly . They can explore different Correct your spelling
a lot
type
of things and meet Fix the agreement mistake
types
people
where they can share their experience
about different places Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
also
. It helps people
to bulid
new Correct your spelling
build
relation
with Replace the word
relationships
another ones
.
Replace the adjective
another one
other ones
Moreover
, museums
are considered tourist attractions and therefore
have a significant financial profit. When visitors go to these facilities, they often purchase food and other items in the neighbourhood. As an effect, not only the museum but also
the nearby businesses benefit.
To recapitulate, although
it is easier to access artwork information through
online Change preposition
apply
but
it is still necessary for the public to Remove the conjunction
apply
physical
attend public Change the word
physically
museums
and art
galleries
to appreciate the artwork.Submitted by simran17895 on
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Grammar
Ensure precise grammar and spelling. For example, 'First and formost' should be 'First and foremost,' and 'beacuse' should be 'because.'
Coherence & Cohesion
Clarify your main points and ensure they logically progress. Some ideas seem slightly disjointed or repetitive.
Task Response
Develop your arguments further with deeper analysis and more specific examples. This will improve the depth of your essay.
Structure
The introduction and conclusion are coherent and do summarize your stance well.
Task Response
You've effectively highlighted some key advantages of physical museums and art galleries, like economic growth and cultural learning.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.