The media should limit how much bad news they report because it discourages people from doing activities which usually involve very little risk. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Some
people
think the
media
should reduce the amount of bad
news
because it deters many
people
from engaging in activities.
However
, other
people
disagree with that idea, because bad
news
makes
people
vigilant of their surroundings, and pay attention to things that happen in different regions. It is good if
people
are mindful before doing something and concerned about some events in other places. From my point of view, I am partially in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
of the thought that the
media
are responsible for the input of bad
news
and
controlling
Change preposition
for controlling
show examples
some negative information moderately. Some
people
are opposed to deleting some bad
news
due to
the necessity.
For example
, some
people
who intend to travel abroad can learn about the
news
about their destinations through the
media
.
As a result
,
people
could prepare for the contingencies that events may bring about.
In addition
, negative information can make
people
take stock of potential risks they face and eventually decisions.
Besides
, those bad
news
can be regarded as educational functions to some degree.
For instance
, the occurrences,
as well as
causes of carbon dioxide intoxication, have been transmitted by various
media
, whereby viewers or listeners can learn a lesson and
consequently
, prevent
this
type of tragedy.
Conversely
, other
people
suggest children or unmatured-mind
people
receive too much negative transmission from the
media
.
Besides
, some
media
exaggerate incidents as more sensational and shocking than original facts and the overblown narration by the anchor will horrify some
people
.
For example
, the
media
regularly relates a variety of negative
news
about societal issues,
such
as car accidents or traffic disputes, which may bring about pernicious effects on
people
who have not learn driving yet, like some of them would not even dare to attempt taking up
this
stuff after watching plenty of accidents from the television. In conclusion, as they say, “Too much is as bad as too little”. We should acquire bad
news
, but at the same time, I think the
media
should pay attention to the minority of
people
's benefits and restrict the amount of bad
news
to some extent, given to the public in case those exaggerated concerns could mislead
people
and
as a result
, it may restrain
people
's possibilities.
Submitted by hayashidajinja820 on

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task achievement
While your introduction sets up the argument and presents your stance, it can be further refined to present a clearer thesis statement. For instance, ensure that your main argument is more succinctly stated.
coherence cohesion
Your essay can benefit from more varied sentence structures and more advanced vocabulary. This will help in conveying your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt effectively, presenting both sides of the argument and including relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion.
task achievement
You provide specific examples to support your points, such as the impact of media on travel decisions and learning from negative news about carbon dioxide intoxication.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your stance clearly.
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