Nowadays, people research their family history, some people say this is useless and we should instead focus on present and future generation. Share your opinion. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
A curiosity about
one’s
past is always been in people
’s genes. While
family history
can tell useful information
about the medical conditions
or habitual effects, current and future
circumstances are more important than the past, because the current situation is different from the past to be based on. While
I understand that presents are more important because historical gene issues can be prevented and cured by regular check-ups by modern technologies, the history
of the family tells necessary information
about the critical conditions
or specific behaviours that people
may not be aware of. So, people
can make adjustments in their behavioural acts in this
present phenomenon which could affect the future
.
To know about the past comes from genetic curiosity. Even children get curious about their ancestors. From the past history
of one’s
family, one can acknowledge the family tradition as well as
other important medical conditions
. For example
, Angelina Jolie found out about breast cancer that caused her grandmother to die, so she frequently checked her health to prevent potential cancer. If people
did not know about the family history
, they may not be able to prevent the historical diseases
. Therefore
, knowing about the family history
is necessary because anyone can prevent potential diseases
which were occurred within the family.
In contrast
, many people
would not care about family history
, because current and future
circumstances are more important than the past. Since society has changed into the information
age, people
can gather all the information
with just a click. This
is different from the ancestor’s generation,
because new Remove the comma
apply
diseases
are created or new issues are occurred every day. For instance
, MERS, ZIKA and SARS are new diseases
that had not occurred in the past history
but in this
21st century and
cures and symptoms Correct word choice
apply
were
more important than knowing family histories. Wrong verb form
are
As a result
of this
, people
are concentrating more on the current situation than the past.
Even though I understand the current situations are important because this
can affect the lifestyles in the future
, knowing about the past seems also
vital. From the medical conditions
, habitual cycles and the specific characteristics can be stuck with DNAs. Once people
are aware of the information
, they can make amendments when they make a decision in life. For instance
, Bill Gates’ family suffered from poor
for a long period which was Add a missing verb
being poor
due to
laziness, so he decided to become rich by not being lazy and always trying to work every minute. If he had been unaware of his family history
and family characteristics, he would never have been able to realise his potential which was hidden inside his DNAs. Thus
, I believe that knowing of family history
is necessary in order to acknowledge one’s
full information
.
In conclusion, currently, we are facing different issues which have not been dealt with in the past. Thus
, knowing about the current and future
seems important. However
, acknowledging the past is more important because one’s
family history
contains the full information
about one’s
self without taking a
time to analyse every aspect. Correct article usage
the
This
information
can be useful to make a decision or to live a lifestyle because people
can change their behaviours by acknowledging the information
which can affect the foreseeable circumstances.Submitted by angelacalcaterra46 on
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task achievement
While the task is thoroughly addressed, some points could benefit from further elaboration. Try to delve deeper into your examples or reasoning to provide a more robust argument.
task achievement
Try to refine your grammar and sentence structure to improve clarity. Minor errors can make your points less clear to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each of your paragraphs transitions smoothly into the next. This will help maintain the logical flow of your essay and make it easier for readers to follow your argument.
task achievement
Your essay does a great job of addressing both sides of the argument, effectively weighing the advantages and disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Strong introduction and conclusion that clearly state your opinion and summarize your main points.
task achievement
You use relevant and specific examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your essay.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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