In many professional sports, there is an increasing number of athletes who use banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?
Using banned
substances
is a growing trend among athletes to enhance their performance. This
essay will discuss how pressure
of Add an article
the pressure
public
is the main cause of Correct article usage
the public
this
problem, and how harsher penalties could be the possible solution.
The main cause of this
problem is social pressure. Thus
, the public demands a medal from a sportsman and if he does not bring the trophy to his homeland he will be under fire of
blaming Change preposition
apply
from
people. The fear of being shamed if he loses pushes the sportsperson to use prohibited Change preposition
apply
substances
. For example
, survey
made by Hungarian University showed that 78% of surveyed champions are scared of being blamed by Add an article
a survey
the survey
community
in case if they fail to win.
The solution to Add an article
the community
this
problem is inserting stricter measures in punishing those who use drugs to improve their physical state. Increasing the fines for using banned substances
will make them think twice before cheating. For instance
, the research made by journalists showcases that the usage of drugs by athletes decreased for
almost 34% when the fines got higher.
In conclusion, the increase in the use of banned Change preposition
by
substances
in professional sports can be attributed to the intense pressure to succeed and the solution could be enforcing harsh penalties on the cheating competitors. However
, through harsher penalties, it is possible to curb this
phenomenon and ensure that sports remain a fair and level playing field for all athletes.Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to use more varied linking devices and ensure smoother transitions between ideas.
task achievement
Expand on examples and provide more detailed evidence to make your arguments stronger.
introduction
The introduction clearly outlines the causes and solutions that will be discussed, providing a clear roadmap for the essay.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively reiterates the main points discussed, providing a strong ending to the essay.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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