The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions

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The given graph illustrates data about the percentage of the residents in four Asian

countries

Use synonyms

living in cities in

50 year

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50-year

show examples

span from 1970 to 2020.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, it gives expectations for 2030 and 2040.

Overall

Linking Words

, Malaysia's

population

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will shoot up in the future scoring the highest percentage ever.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, Thailand will go up in the next few years but it won't be enough and it will be the smallest

population

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among the four

countries

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. In 1980, all the

countries

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had had upward trend for 10 years.To illustrate, the Philippines surged about 20 per cent achieving the highest

population

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this

Linking Words

span.

In addition

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,all the other

countries

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had a balanced increase.

For example

Linking Words

, Malaysia rose about 5% and both Thailand and Indonesia

Wrong verb form

went

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up about 10%. In 2040, every country will score its own peak in

population

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For instance

Linking Words

, the Philippines will soar a

further

Linking Words

80% and Indonesia will go up achieving 60%.

Moreover

Linking Words

, Thailand will rise to 30%.

Submitted by seifhasseb222 on Mon Sep 16 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, population with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "go up" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

155 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

graph
percentage
population
Asian countries
living in cities
1970
2020
predictions
2030
2040
introduction
overview
trend
body paragraph
compare
predicted percentages
summarize
closing statement

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The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

Some people think that men and women have different qualities, therfore caertain jobs are suitable for men and others women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Othe people think that in today's world subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both points and give your opinion

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?