Sugar consumption is too harmful. Some say it is government’s responsibility to limit sugar intake, while others say it’s individual who are responsible. Discuss both views and give you opinion?
The consumption of sugary foods and
bevarages
has drastically increased in Correct your spelling
beverages
those
Correct determiner usage
the
last
few decades. Linking Words
Sugar
Use synonyms
intake
Use synonyms
upon
a certain level is proven to be harmful Change preposition
at
for
our health. Change the preposition
to
For
Linking Words
this
reason, some Linking Words
people
believe governments should ramp up their efforts to limit Use synonyms
sugar
Use synonyms
intake
in Use synonyms
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
diet
, Fix the agreement mistake
diets
on the other
Linking Words
hand
others believe that it is a personal choice of each individual. I strongly agree with the second position because each Add the comma(s)
hand,
citizens
should be free to Change to a singular noun
citizen
take
Correct your spelling
make
its
own choice in how he Correct pronoun usage
their
his
her
feed
himself.
On the one hand, those who agree with the idea of considering it a government’s Change the verb form
feeds
responsability
probably Correct your spelling
responsibility
refers
to the fact that in Correct subject-verb agreement
refer
welfare
state how each of us Correct article usage
a welfare
live
his own life Change the verb form
lives
interfere
with others. As an example of that, if Correct subject-verb agreement
interferes
sugar
consumption is harshly harmful, Use synonyms
then
probably these Linking Words
people
will need more medical care Use synonyms
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
than
other
and Fix the agreement mistake
others
this
Linking Words
have
an impact on how and if hospitals are able to give Change the verb form
has
to
that many Change preposition
apply
people
the cure they need.
Use synonyms
Furthermore
, they believe in a paternalistic form of action of the governments where if citizens are not able to choose what is best for them, governments should assume the Linking Words
responsability
to show them the right way. Despite it might sound a logical way of thinking, I disagree with these ideas because I believe that freedom in Correct your spelling
responsibility
people
’s life Use synonyms
choice
is a supreme right.
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
On the other hand
, those who Linking Words
considers
individuals Change the verb form
consider
as
responsible Change preposition
apply
of
their life choices agree that after making common knowledge that a certain Change preposition
for
intake
of Use synonyms
sugar
is harmful, and it is science’s role, each of us should be free of behaving in the Use synonyms
exacly
opposite way. Correct your spelling
exact
exactly
Moreover
, tackling Linking Words
this
problem Linking Words
limiting
Change preposition
of limiting
sugar
Use synonyms
intake
as an obey will have an impact on economies because Use synonyms
compagnie
who Correct your spelling
companies
sold
Wrong verb form
sell
this
kind of products should completely reinvent themself and Linking Words
this
will have Linking Words
huge
and disastrous effect on Add an article
a huge
western
economies.
Capitalize word
Western
To conclude
, the health Linking Words
reason
need for sure to be considered to face Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
this
Linking Words
problematic
but, in my opinion, the right to choose is on Replace the word
problem
an
higher level and Change the article
a
for
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
reason
it needs to be protected more than the other.Add a comma
reason,
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
Work on expressing ideas more comprehensively by elaborating on each point fully before moving on to the next one. This will show a deeper understanding and a more thorough discussion of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay addresses both views on the topic, fulfilling the task requirement.
task achievement
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.