It is very important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is argued that everyone, including young
people
, must save
money
for their future.
This
essay totally agrees with that statement. I believe that it is very important because saving
money
is
one
of the good habits, and it is
one
of the significant things that
people
should do for their future. Nowadays,
money
is very important in
people
's lives. Because everything,
such
as work, education, and health, is decided by
money
. Our time is so cruel that if you do not have any
money
, you will not have
any
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
girlfriend
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
wife.
For instance
,
older
Correct article usage
an older
show examples
brother of mine. He was about twenty years old at that time. He worked as an accountant;
however
, his income was very low.
Then
he fell in love with
one
girl. Afterwards, he proposed to her after several months.
By contrast
, the girl rejected him for
one
reason:
money
, and
then
he was very
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
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and anxious, even though he did not want to speak with anyone.
Finally
and
Correct word choice
apply
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sadly, he died without
wife
Correct article usage
a wife
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and children.
Furthermore
, the second reason for
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
agreement
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
statement is that saving
money
is
one
of the important habits in our lives. Because, at the moment,
people
are sending their incomes from work to bad things
such
as cigarettes and vodka.
According to
scientists, if
one
person collects a hundred dollars every day at the beginning of the year,
then
he would have about 36500 dollars
at the end
of the year. It is very good
money
, and collecting like
this
for several years will lead to becoming a millionaire. In conclusion, nowadays saving
money
is very important for everyone, and I completely agree with that statement because becoming a millionaire from
one
good habit and collecting
money
is significant for our bright and peaceful future.
Submitted by bizhanalikhan6 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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