Some people think that mental strength is more important for success in sports some people believe that physical health is more important discuss both views and give your own opinion?

Nowadays,some people think mental strength is more important for success in sports
while
others hold the other view that physical health is more important. In my
opinion
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opinion,
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I support the former idea. As is known to all, to be an excellent sports
participants
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participant
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needs a good body including good shape and should always be in proper
conditions
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condition
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so all
the
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apply
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sportsman
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sportsmen
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keep training hard throughout their career life to maintain an appropriate situation aiming to gain
award
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awards
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. Great
emphasize
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emphasis
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is put on the top kinds of games
such
as the Olympic games so that the best participants from all over the universe come to enter
for
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apply
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these level games to compete. They all achieve
a
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the
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best level all around so the eventual winners always be those who are mentally strong deep inside. That's my perspective to say that mental
strengh
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strength
is the most important
factors
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factor
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for success in sports,
while
the athletes are fully qualified
with
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in
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their field all they need is to be self-confident and inner-strong. They can
persuit
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pursue
a better record only if they trust in themselves and don't be afraid of failure. In conclusion , I believe that mental health is more important than physical health.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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task achievement
Your essay needs more specific examples and detailed explanations to strengthen your argument. Consider including examples of famous athletes who have demonstrated the importance of mental strength or physical health.
coherence cohesion
Your logical structure could be improved. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your supporting points are clearly linked to your main argument.
coherence cohesion
Try varying your sentence structure to create a more engaging writing style. Use a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the discussion.
task achievement
Your argument is clearly stated, and your perspective is effectively communicated.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • mental resilience
  • perseverance
  • focus
  • stamina
  • strength
  • strategic thinking
  • adaptability
  • stress management
  • anxiety
  • positive attitude
  • injury prevention
  • muscle development
  • recovery process
  • physical conditioning
  • optimal performance
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