It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #money #future

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some

people

Use synonyms

think that saving

money

Use synonyms

is crucial for their future,

however

Linking Words

, it may have some troubles. I definitely agree with

this

Linking Words

statement, and in

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I will

tell

Verb problem

talk

show examples

about

advantages

Correct article usage

the advantages

show examples

and drawbacks of that

habbit

Correct your spelling

habit

People

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feel much more confident if they have extra

money

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therefore

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, keeping capital

require

Change the verb form

requires

show examples

some restrictions. A lot of individuals save their

cash

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for bad days. In some occasions without capital

people

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enroll for

problems

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. The main one is when someone

get

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gets

show examples

injury or illness. At

such

Linking Words

Correct your spelling

consequences

consequence

concsequenses

Add a comma

concsequenses,

show examples

persons

Replace the word

people

show examples

need

huge

Add an article

a huge

show examples

amount

Fix the agreement mistake

amounts

show examples

cash

Use synonyms

to help

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

another one. Troubles like that are unpredictable and individuals have to have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

money

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for

such

Linking Words

problems

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Change preposition

show examples

other

Correct article usage

the other

show examples

hand, for some

people

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spending

cash

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for their needs is essential. Because

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apply

show examples

overusing that

thechnic

Correct your spelling

technic

may lead

for

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show examples

some psychological and satisfaction

problems

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. Regarding the benefits of saving capital. Feeling

confidance

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confident

confidence

is the main advantage.

Problems

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with health, education,

traveling

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travelling

show examples

, transportation and etc can be solved if

people

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have

money

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Moreover

Linking Words

people

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become more satisfied when they have an opportunity to order everything, in the case of food,

entertainment

Correct word choice

and entertainment

show examples

Lastly

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, social critics, no one

want

Correct subject-verb agreement

wants

show examples

to be abused by society, and

money

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may solve

that difficulties

Change the determiner

that difficulty

those difficulties

show examples

. If

people

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have their own home, car and happy family society

react

Correct subject-verb agreement

reacts

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

them positively, and it's essential for some individuals. In conclusion, keeping

incomes

Fix the agreement mistake

income

show examples

and

purchase

Wrong verb form

purchasing

show examples

Linking Words

then

Correct your spelling

them

show examples

accurately

Change the word

accurate

show examples

is important, and it overweight than

spend

Wrong verb form

spending

show examples

them every time. I suggest

for

Correct word choice

that

show examples

everyone

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

save their

cash

Use synonyms

Change preposition

for

show examples

bad days.

Submitted by bizhanalikhan6 on Tue Sep 17 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay needs to present ideas more clearly and systematically. Try to ensure your thoughts are logically structured and linked together seamlessly. This will improve the overall coherence.

Task Achievement

You have addressed the prompt well, providing both advantages and drawbacks of saving money. However, your argument and examples need to be clearer and more specific to better support your claims. Try to use concrete examples and detailed explanations.

Task Achievement

Work on grammatical accuracy and word choice. There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that can cause confusion. Consider revising sentences to improve clarity and readability.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which makes it easier to follow. This is an important aspect of a well-structured essay.

Task Achievement

You demonstrated a good understanding of the topic and were able to provide a balanced view by discussing both the pros and cons of saving money. This is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

249 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial security
safety net
unforeseen circumstances
emergencies
future investments
retirement planning
financial discipline
habit of saving
amassing wealth
substantial fund
opportunity cost
additional income
inflation
purchasing power

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It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

Some people think that only the government can make significant changes in society, while others think that individuals can have a lot of influence. What is your opinion?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subject. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give own opinion.

Some people think the manufacturers and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?