Due to a more sedentary lifestyle, children in developed nations have higher levels of obesity compared to previous generations. What problems does this cause and what are the possible solutions?

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Children in

the

Correct article usage

apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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first-world countries have higher levels of obesity compared to their parents and grandparents

due to

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

a more non-active lifestyle. The main

problem

Change the noun form

problems

It appears that the subject and the predicate noun in this sentence do not agree in number. Consider making the noun problem plural.

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it causes are cardiovascular diseases and psychological impacts, and the most viable solutions are policy implementations to curb junk food promotions and

encouraging

Wrong verb form

encourage

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb encouraging. Consider changing it.

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physical activities in universities.

majumdarnilesh21Tue Sep 17 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Ensure that you have a comprehensive introduction and conclusion. A proper introduction should clearly outline the main points that will be covered in the essay, and a strong conclusion should summarize those points and reinforce the central argument.

relevant specific examples

Provide specific examples or evidence to support your main points. This will help solidify your arguments and make your essay more convincing.

complete response

Fully develop each of your main points with detailed explanations or evidence. This avoids leaving any part of your argument underdeveloped and ensures that your response is seen as complete.

logical structure

Add more cohesive devices and transitional phrases to enhance the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will make your writing more coherent and easier to follow.

clear comprehensive ideas

You have a clear understanding of the task and have identified relevant problems and solutions.

logical structure

The essay is concise and gets straight to the point, which is effective in maintaining the reader's focus.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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1
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

52 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
obesity
developed nations
health conditions
diabetes
cardiovascular diseases
hypertension
psychological impact
self-esteem
depression
mental health issues
bullying
social isolation
academic performance
school absenteeism
healthcare systems
financial strain
medical treatments
interventions
physical activities
nutritional education
healthy eating habits
balanced diets
policy implementation
junk food advertising
nutritious food options
screen time
parental involvement

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Due to a more sedentary lifestyle, children in developed nations have higher levels of obesity compared to previous generations. What problems does this cause and what are the possible solutions?

Include an introduction and conclusion

as well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

Do you agree with me ? upward trend toward working from home. Teleworking style is it more advantage or more disadvantage? what would you think about?

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. What problems does the shortage of fresh water cause? What measures could be taken to overcome these problems?

Nowadays, people use bicycles less frequently as a form of transportation. Why is this? What can be done to encourage people to use bicycles more?