Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets, and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?
When I was a child, I heard a lot about the expression (world will be
one
small village), and that of course was out of my conscious, how could the big world become just one
place? since I realized the meaning of this
old expression and online shopping reassures this
point of view, where shopping is very common among young people and reasonable among adults, but as usual there is nothing good to most, although
there are advantages of online shopping there are also
dangerous disadvantages for paying money online.
We could consider an Easy way to select brushes whatever and wherever this
product is, one
of the advantages of online shopping, therefore
. Flexibility in exchanging products and paying with a card
which means postponed withdrawal, without bearing the tiredness of crowded streets and shops.
the drawbacks of online shopping are unbelievable like Uncontrollable shopping, however
The temptation of the products makes it difficult to control the purchase of things, rather than you will be after a short time Indebted, loaded with a magnificent amount of money, Add a comma
however,
not to mention
the wrong delivery in size or color
which demand another waiting to exchange Change the spelling
colour
this
product to the right one
. Also
, the most disadvantageous issue is that your card
may be hacked, that was exactly what happened to me, and I was forced to cancel my card
to stop withdrawing.
at
the end, I want to express how much I agree with online shopping but under firm precautions, like buying from reputed companies that have their history and are keen on it, Change the preposition
in
furthermore
do online shopping with a limited amount on your card
as controlling yourself, and banding unwanted brush in case your card
is hacked.Submitted by Mido on
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task achievement
Your response addresses the task prompt, but be sure to balance the advantages and disadvantages more evenly. Providing more specific examples and data could improve your argument.
coherence cohesion
While there is a clear introduction and conclusion, try to organize your essay better with clear paragraphs for each main point. This will help improve the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point is well-supported with relevant ideas and examples. This will strengthen your arguments and support your position more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the transitions between sentences and paragraphs to improve the overall coherence.
task achievement
You provide a clear opinion at the beginning and the end, which shows a consistent stance.
task achievement
Your writing demonstrates a good understanding of both the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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