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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
#information #railway #systems #six #cities #summarise #features #comparison
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The figure gives data about the
subway
Use synonyms
 systems in six cities of the world.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the oldest
subway
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 is dedicated to London and
also
Linking Words
 it has the longest route in comparison with other cities. Kyoto has the shortest path and Tokyo carries the largest amount of people within other cities. As mentioned before, the date of the
subway
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 of London opened in 1863,
whereas
Linking Words
 the newest underground railway
system
Use synonyms
 is related to Los Angeles which opened in 2001. Actually, the longest route is related to London as well with 394 km.
While
Linking Words
 in Kyoto,
this
Linking Words
 path is 11km. It is
also
Linking Words
 clear that the minimum of
passengers
Use synonyms
 per year in Kyoto is 45
million
Use synonyms
. Of course, in Tokyo, the largest amount of
passengers
Use synonyms
 is 1927
million
Use synonyms
. Looking at the details, Paris is the second oldest
subway
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 which opened in 1900 with 1191
million
Use synonyms
passengers
Use synonyms
. Los Angeles is
also
Linking Words
 the fifth city that carries 50
million
Use synonyms
passengers
Use synonyms
 annually.
Submitted by brightstargalaxy on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words subway, system, passengers, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inaugurated
  • route length
  • passenger capacity
  • urban sprawl
  • public transport
  • technological advancements
  • economic contribution
  • industrial growth
  • population density
  • network expansion
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