The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of britain. The table shows where the moneys came from and the charts show how it is distributed.

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of britain. The table shows where the moneys came from and the charts show how it is distributed.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The table compares the police budget in two different
years
Use synonyms
in one city,
while
Linking Words
the pie chart illustrates how much the expenditure is in three categories.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
the budgets for the two
years
Use synonyms
were similar to each other,
however
Linking Words
, there was a minor rise in the total. It can be seen that the majority of the income was spent on police officers and other
stuff
Correct your spelling
staff
show examples
salaries during the period.  Looking in more detail at financial sources, the National Government gave it
the
Change the article
a
show examples
large amount of the police
budgets
Fix the agreement mistake
budget
show examples
, with 177.5
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
and 177.8
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
, respectively.
Whereas
Linking Words
the Local Taxes came in second stage with more than 91
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
in 2017 and grew to 102
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
in 2018. The number in the other source was similar,
such
Linking Words
as grants with 38
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
in 2017 and around 38.5
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
in 2018. There was a gradual upturn in the total budgets from approximately £304.7
million
Use synonyms
to £318.6
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
.  Turning now to how the money was spent in both
years
Use synonyms
, salaries accounted for the largest proportion of devoted, making up 75%,
while
Linking Words
the percentage dropped
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the following year with 69% of the sum.
According to
Linking Words
the data, in 2017 the technology allocation was only 8%, after that, in 2018, the technology roughly doubled their percentage to 14%.
Finally
Linking Words
, buildings and transport remained relatively stable at 17%
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
both
years
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by imaharzm on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words years, million, pounds with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • budget allocation
  • funding sources
  • expenditure categories
  • fiscal year
  • operational efficiency
  • resource allocation
  • personnel management
  • National Government
  • Local Taxes
  • Miscellaneous revenues
  • Salaries
  • Technology
  • Buildings and Transport
  • budget distribution
  • financial trends
  • allocation shifts
  • budget increments
  • expenditure patterns
What to do next:
Look at other essays: