Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, our wider society become more creative than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
past,
we
Correct word choice
and we
show examples
can
also
see that
people
have a lot of
choices
to make their own
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
. Personally, the claim of
this
statement is disagreeable as the damage is seen, There are reasons to be elaborated as
following
Change the form of the verb
follows
show examples
. No one can deny that, nowadays some are got bad
affects
Replace the word
effects
show examples
from choosing
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
own
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
.
For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
some part of high school children in Thailand can't decide what they're gonna study,
while
in the past it was easy to choose.
However
, lots of
choices
such
as education
ar
Correct your spelling
are
show examples
not only provide their future
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
improve their abilities. Nowadays universities
are have
Change the verb form
have
show examples
many
choices
that student can choose for their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
subject.
Besides
that, they can skip
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university and go to work or work and
studies
Fix the agreement mistake
study
show examples
.
For example
, In
chulalongkorn
Change the capitalization
Chulalongkorn
show examples
University
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
located in Bangkok, Thailand, has a lot of majors, that make students study what they're interested in. There
no
Add a missing verb
is no
show examples
doubt that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
our world has massive
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
occupations and
innovation
Fix the agreement mistake
innovations
show examples
.
Moreover
,
hence
it makes
people
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
choose
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
job for
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
they genuinely have workmanship in that part.
Such
as
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
who studied
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
engineering at Chulalongkorn
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
can work
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
that, and it
makes
Verb problem
gives
show examples
that company
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
good employees.
To sum up
,
although
too many
choices
can harm
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
who don't have their goals, it still brings benefits to our worldwide
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
population.
Thus
people
should have their own goals and try hard to reach them as much as they can.
Submitted by dondollaraus on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Work on developing and expanding your ideas more fully. Your body paragraphs should provide more detailed explanations and multiple examples for each point made.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence within paragraphs. Ensure that sentences logically flow from one to the next, with clear cohesion between them.
task achievement
You have made an effort to address both sides of the argument, weighing both the positive and negative aspects of having many choices.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your arguments and provide some structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
What to do next:
Look at other essays: