Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion
Some people think the death penalty is a good choice to handle and reduce the crime rate and make society safer.
However
, I think it is not a big deal solution because every person makes a mistake, and it is against human rights.
On the one hand, A lot of crime categories in this
world, and sometimes people make mistakes not because they want to do it but to protect themselves from violence, For Instance
, Women
who are against villain
Fix the agreement mistake
villains
due to
they in dangerous situations such
as sexual abuse, and women
resistance make a villain injury or died. As
Change preposition
In
a
case above, the Correct article usage
the
women
Fix the agreement mistake
woman
maybe will
get Wrong verb form
may
a
capital Correct article usage
apply
punishment
but if we look at of
the Change preposition
apply
women
situational Change noun form
women's
that
violence can be acceptable because Correct word choice
apply
she
only try to protect themselves.
Correct pronoun usage
they
On the other hand
, No one people do not make a mistake and everyone has a chance to fix it. It is valid for every criminal neither big or small mistake their
made. Correct pronoun usage
they
Such
as, a terrorist have
a chance to make amends and be right to Change the verb form
has
given
fair Add a missing verb
be given
punishment
like subsequently
commuted to life imprisonment. In addition
, the government should be have
a prevention regulation to keep society Change the verb form
have
safety
than make a capital Fix the agreement mistake
safe rather
punishment
that this
path will more effective and do not break he
human rights.
In conclusion, The death Correct your spelling
the
punishment
would not be effective in decreasing the number of crimes because it contradicty
with human rights, and the government should make a rule that can prevent Correct your spelling
contradicts
contradictory
contradict
the
Correct article usage
apply
violence
actions.Replace the word
violent
Submitted by dinih214 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea. While you have a good foundational argument about why capital punishment may not be effective, your paragraphs sometimes stray off-topic.
task achievement
Be more specific with examples. Instead of general statements, provide relevant and concrete examples that are directly tied to your main arguments.
coherence cohesion
Improve sentence structure and grammar. There are several grammatical errors which slightly diminish the clarity of your points. Proofreading and revising can help improve the readability of your essay.
task achievement
Expand on your arguments to give a more thorough examination. Exploring both sides (pros and cons) more deeply would provide a more balanced view.
task achievement
You have a clear stance against capital punishment, and you've articulated your reasons for this view well.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and conclusion, which help in framing your arguments well.