IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The top priority of businesses is making money, and they do not need to have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#priority #businesses #money #responsibilities
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It is a topic for debate whether businesses should prioritise printing money and ignore the social responsibility that comes
along with
 that or not.
While
 choosing
former
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the former
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 over the latter would have
it's
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its
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 advantages, I feel it is equally important for them to be socially responsible.
Firstly
,
its
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it is
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 highly unlikely that emphasizing
on
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apply
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economical
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economic
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 output would come without costing
the
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apply
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society at a human level. The world's most profitable companies like Google, Amazon, Facebook, Twitter etc have created and expanded on products like social media applications, which are free of cost in monetary terms, but have led to
dramatic
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the dramatic
a dramatic
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 rise
of
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in
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 emotional and mental disorders as they all fight for their consumers' attention. If
such
 companies are not held accountable, people's health
would get
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will be
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 immensely affected.
Secondly
, there are a lot of
the
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apply
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organizations that sell tobacco products, advertising them via celebrities leading to
such
 forms of
addictions
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addiction
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. Many of the enterprises
also
 engage in morally incorrect practices like child
labor
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labour
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, exploitation of workers etc in order to maximise their sales revenue. Without making them responsible in some form,
this
 cannot be avoided. In order to achieve
this
, some form of
regulations
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regulation
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 can be imposed on them, whether legal or societal
,
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apply
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 or owning up to their responsibilities can be rewarded in a way that
it
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apply
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holds a higher value for them.
To conclude
, I feel the primary motive of businesses should still be increasing profits but that shouldn't come at the society's moral and social cost and
this
 cannot happen until they have some form of responsibility.
Submitted by man3meet4 on

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examples
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • profit maximization
  • economic development
  • Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR)
  • shareholders
  • moral obligation
  • reputation
  • customer loyalty
  • sustainable business models
  • accountability
  • ethical practices
  • regulations
  • consumer expectations
  • economic sustainability
  • stakeholders
  • social impact
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