Some feel that individuals today spend too much time following political news while others feel politics deserves greater attention. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
In the modern era, thanks to
the
technology, accessing Correct article usage
apply
to
the news and information about various areas has been more convenient than before and political information is no exception. There is an argument about whether Change preposition
apply
people
should spend time
being enlightened in this
area, or knowing it is in vain and is not effective. In the following essay, I will express both sides’ reasons and also
my orientation towards this
statement.
To begin
with the advocates’ opinion about ineffectiveness
of political knowledge, citizens are struggling with daily challenges incorporate economic issues Add an article
the ineffectiveness
that
they cannot spend extra Correct word choice
so
time
gaining information about political issues. For example
, Japanese
work 14 hours per day to mitigate their financial challenges so expecting them to dedicate Correct article usage
the Japanese
time
to politic
is unreasonable. Fix the agreement mistake
politics
In addition
, politics is the same with
the other subjects, namely physics, biology and math. Learning other subjects Change preposition
as
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
time
and efforts
, Fix the agreement mistake
effort
so
does the political subject, particularly Correct word choice
and so
due to
its complexity which makes it tough for regular people
.
On the other hand
, despite Add an article
the complication
complication
of Fix the agreement mistake
complications
politic
, Correct your spelling
politics
people
could have a general understanding of it just like economics, math, and even medicine. In the light fact that political decisions directly affect people
’s lives, and
being cognizant of it would assist civilians in expressing their opinions in these decisions. Particularly, democratic countries require Correct word choice
apply
community
with Correct article usage
a community
the
high awareness of Correct article usage
a
politic
so Correct your spelling
politics
people
would wisely participate in different national events. For example
, in Republic
of Iran, authorities are nominated for Correct article usage
the Republic
Correct article usage
the president
president
seat or Perelman and Replace the word
presidential
then
, are elected based on their qualification and credits by Iranians.
In conclusion, government is a crucial part of every country. The level of enlightening people
in political area
is completely dependent on the regime. Fix the agreement mistake
areas
However
, I believe that communities need a basic knowledge of it to be aware of their rights and also
to protest against unapproved events in their country.Submitted by TUTOO on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear opinion, which is good. However, try to avoid minor grammatical mistakes and awkward phrases to improve readability. For instance, 'accessing to the news' should be 'access to the news'.
coherence cohesion
The essay has an introduction and conclusion which are well-structured. Yet, the body paragraphs could have more logical connections and transitions between ideas. Make sure each paragraph flows into the next smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported, but they could use more specific examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, illustrate situations where political knowledge has directly impacted people's lives significantly.
task achievement
The introduction clearly sets up the discussion and your opinion is explicitly stated in the conclusion, which shows clarity.
coherence cohesion
You have made a good attempt to discuss both sides of the argument which keeps the essay balanced and focused.
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