Some feel that individuals today spend too much time following political news while others feel politics deserves greater attention. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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In the modern era, thanks to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology, accessing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the news and information about various areas has been more convenient than before and political information is no exception. There is an argument about whether

people

Use synonyms

should spend

time

Use synonyms

being enlightened in

this

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area, or knowing it is in vain and is not effective. In the following essay, I will express both sides’ reasons and

also

Linking Words

my orientation towards

this

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statement.

To begin

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with the advocates’ opinion about

ineffectiveness

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the ineffectiveness

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of political knowledge, citizens are struggling with daily challenges incorporate economic issues

that

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show examples

they cannot spend extra

time

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gaining information about political issues.

For example

Linking Words

Japanese

Correct article usage

the Japanese

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work 14 hours per day to mitigate their financial challenges so expecting them to dedicate

time

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politic

Fix the agreement mistake

politics

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is unreasonable.

In addition

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, politics is the same

with

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show examples

the other subjects, namely physics, biology and math. Learning other subjects

require

Correct subject-verb agreement

requires

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time

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and

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

show examples

Correct word choice

and so

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does the political subject, particularly

due to

Linking Words

its complexity which makes it tough for regular

people

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On the other hand

Linking Words

, despite

Add an article

the complication

show examples

complication

Fix the agreement mistake

complications

show examples

politic

Correct your spelling

politics

show examples

people

Use synonyms

could have a general understanding of it just like economics, math, and even medicine. In the light fact that political decisions directly affect

people

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’s lives,

and

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apply

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being cognizant of it would assist civilians in expressing their opinions in these decisions. Particularly, democratic countries require

community

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a community

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with

the

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show examples

high awareness of

politic

Correct your spelling

politics

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people

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would wisely participate in different national events.

For example

Linking Words

, in

Republic

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the Republic

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of Iran, authorities are nominated for

Correct article usage

the president

show examples

president

Replace the word

presidential

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seat or Perelman and

then

Linking Words

, are elected based on their qualification and credits by Iranians. In conclusion, government is a crucial part of every country. The level of enlightening

people

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in political

area

Fix the agreement mistake

areas

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is completely dependent on the regime.

However

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, I believe that communities need a basic knowledge of it to be aware of their rights and

also

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to protest against unapproved events in their country.

TUTOOTue Sep 17 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear opinion, which is good. However, try to avoid minor grammatical mistakes and awkward phrases to improve readability. For instance, 'accessing to the news' should be 'access to the news'.

coherence cohesion

The essay has an introduction and conclusion which are well-structured. Yet, the body paragraphs could have more logical connections and transitions between ideas. Make sure each paragraph flows into the next smoothly.

coherence cohesion

Your main points are supported, but they could use more specific examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, illustrate situations where political knowledge has directly impacted people's lives significantly.

task achievement

The introduction clearly sets up the discussion and your opinion is explicitly stated in the conclusion, which shows clarity.

coherence cohesion

You have made a good attempt to discuss both sides of the argument which keeps the essay balanced and focused.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

311 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

informed decisions
democratic participation
mental health
stress and anxiety
accountability
misinformation
balanced approach
accessibility
engagement
political awareness

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