IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

the money spent on space research has brought enormous benefits to mankind, but it could be more usefully applied. how far do you agree?

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It has been noticed that even though outer-space studies bring significant advantages to
human kind
Correct your spelling
humankind
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, it
better
Add a missing verb
is better
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 to be used
elsewhere
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. I completely agree with the latter argument, as there are other current problems and important research fields that need
government's
Correct article usage
the government's
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 attention. One evident reason for space research should be de-prioritized is that the world has more pressing issues that require immediate attention
such
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 as poverty, education and healthcare.
Furthermore
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,
areospace
Correct your spelling
aerospace
 studies require considerably large funds and advanced equipment.
Hence
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such
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 funds can be more useful on above mentioned global issues.
For example
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, if a country could spend that much on
educational
Correct article usage
the educational
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system's
Change noun form
system
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 advancement
instead
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, there
will
Wrong verb form
would
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 be more educated professionals
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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will
Wrong verb form
would
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 eventually
involve
Wrong verb form
be involved
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 in fast
economical
Correct word choice
economic
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 growth in the long run.
Likewise
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, if spent on infrastructure,
then
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better
Correct article usage
a better
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 standard of living for the society as a whole.
On the other hand
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, most of
such
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 astronomical projects yield no results.
Furthermore
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, they have a tendency to cease after many years of wasted resources, once they reach a dead-end where the probability of
such
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 is very high.
Hence
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such
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 funds and money can be spent on other research with definite results
such
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 as
on
Change preposition
in
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 medical, technological and environmental fields.
For instance
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,
vaccine
Add an article
a vaccine
the vaccine
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 for Covid 19 has been one of the greatest inventions
happened
Verb problem
apply
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in recent history. It can be seen how important they can be than space findings to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human kind
Correct your spelling
humankind
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. In conclusion, world money can be spent on more important
economical
Replace the word
economic
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 and sociological issues and other projects where its advantages are vast and far more beneficial than the positive effect space studies
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 to offer.

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task achievement
The essay should aim to provide a balanced viewpoint by mentioning both the benefits and the challenges of space research. Currently, the essay heavily focuses on why funds should be reallocated, but does not equally delve into the advantages of space research in enough detail.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that every paragraph clearly links back to the main argument. While the paragraphs are generally coherent, some sentences can be made more explicit in explaining how the points relate to the overall argument.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion comprehensively cover the main idea of the essay, making your stance clear.
logical structure
The essay presents a logical structure, with each paragraph discussing a specific point in support of the main argument.
supported main points
The main points are well-supported with relevant examples, though they could be more specific.
Topic Vocabulary:
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