IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people try to create a balance between their professional life and their personal life. However, very few are able to achieve such a balance. What problems stop people from achieving a work-life balance? How can these problems be overcome?

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In the current days, finding a
balance
Use synonyms
 between professional and personal life
begin
Change the verb form
begins
show examples
 to be a common goal that many people try to achieve.
However
Linking Words
, despite the efforts that the person put
to manage
Change preposition
into managing
show examples
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
-life
balance
Use synonyms
, only a few portion of people succeed in maintaining
this
Linking Words
 equilibrium. One of the main reasons that the person faced to
achieved
Change the form of the verb
achieve
show examples
this
Linking Words
 goal is the increasing workload. Many employers expect
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
Use synonyms
work
Fix the infinitive
to work
show examples
 long hours,
constant
Correct word choice
and constant
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 availability, which encroaches on their personal
time
Use synonyms
 and prevents them from maintaining a
balance
Use synonyms
. Another challenge is the technological overload,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 means, the constant connectivity through smartphones, laptops or
another digital tools
Replace the adjective
another digital tool
other digital tools
show examples
, which can make
difficult
Correct pronoun usage
it difficult
show examples
 for individuals to disconnect after office hours. And for
last
Linking Words
, the lack of
time
Use synonyms
 management skills, without clear boundaries, people could spend excessive
time
Use synonyms
or
Correct your spelling
on
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 tasks, making it harder to
balance
Use synonyms
 professional and personal commitments. One solution could be that the organizations put efforts
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
 a
work
Use synonyms
-life
balance
Use synonyms
 culture, promoting flexible hours and
offer
Wrong verb form
offering
show examples
 policies like remote
work
Use synonyms
 options. Another approach is that the individuals learn to manage their use of technology more effectively, establishing boundaries around digital communication, one tip could be to
turning
Wrong verb form
turn
show examples
 off
work
Use synonyms
 notifications after a certain hour, or use tools that limit the
time
Use synonyms
 spent
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 some applications. Improving
time
Use synonyms
 management skills can
also
Linking Words
 help to achieve
this
Linking Words
 goal,
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
 a routine to separate the
time
Use synonyms
 used for
work
Use synonyms
 and personal life,
this
Linking Words
 could be to
break
Wrong verb form
breaking
show examples
 tasks
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 manageable steps,
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 to say no to some requests or delegate them if
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 necessary.

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introduction conclusion present
Strengthen the introduction and conclusion by providing a clear thesis statement and a succinct summary of main points discussed. This helps in better organizing the essay.
relevant specific examples
Enhance your essay by providing more specific examples to support each point. Real-world examples or personal experiences can make the arguments more convincing.
logical structure
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Use linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments seamlessly.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have successfully identified several key challenges and provided reasonable solutions to these problems, which demonstrates good understanding of the topic.
complete response
The essay addresses all parts of the task and stays relevant to the topic throughout.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • increasing workload
  • technological overload
  • constant connectivity
  • time management skills
  • workplace culture
  • demanding culture
  • family responsibilities
  • chronic stress
  • lack of sleep
  • employer support
  • flexible working hours
  • remote work options
  • disconnect from work
  • efficient use of time
  • personal commitments
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