IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

International travel is becoming cheaper, and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourists. Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 day and age, it has become increasingly prevalent for people to believe that travel overseas has become less expensive and the authorities have reduced their strict rules to welcoming foreign tourism. In my opinion, the benefits of increased tourists are more significant compared to the harms. On the one hand, many
individuals
Use synonyms
 believe letting foreign visitors in could create several disadvantages. The first reason is that as overseas tourists visit their countries more and more over the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
, the
tradition
Fix the agreement mistake
traditions
show examples
 and culture of their countries can reduce substantially.
For instance
Linking Words
, it has been proven by
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
wide research that Thailand has lost a huge number of festivals
due to
Linking Words
 the mitigation of foreign
tradition
Fix the agreement mistake
traditions
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon could be detrimental to the environment and landscapes of the nation.
Individuals
Use synonyms
 might harm the landscape
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 their activities, unconsciously and the visitors can cause a large
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of toxic substances, leading to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
damage in terms of
atmosphere
Correct article usage
the atmosphere
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I would argue that welcoming more
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 could open up numerous opportunities for the government and
individuals
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, if the authorities allow different kinds of tourists, it could serve as a means to enhance their national economy. The government can create a large number of services, enabling them to gain more money from
this
Linking Words
 kind of industry. Another reason is that citizens have a chance to approach different types of cultures, helping them to enlarge their horizons.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Viet Nam, many children have learnt
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
diverse knowledge from people in various countries. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 notion still
remains
Verb problem
has
show examples
 certain disadvantages, it seems to me that if
individuals
Use synonyms
 and authorities acknowledge in terms of pros and cons,
then
Linking Words
 the benefits outweigh the harms.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevant specific examples
Ensure that all examples are directly relevant and support the main points effectively. For example, the example of Thailand losing festivals could be expanded to better demonstrate the impact on culture.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify the ideas further to make your arguments unequivocally clear. For instance, specify how economic benefits from tourism can lead to improved infrastructure or quality of life for locals.
complete response
While your essay covers both sides of the argument, ensure to develop each point more fully to provide a comprehensive response. For example, you could have included statistical data or specific policies that reflect the benefits of tourism.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
logical structure
The logical structure of your essay is strong, with clear paragraphs and a smooth flow of ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • GDP (Gross Domestic Product)
  • local businesses
  • job creation
  • cultural understanding
  • stereotypes
  • global connections
  • infrastructure
  • public transportation
  • environmental degradation
  • pollution
  • deforestation
  • wildlife habitats
  • commercialization
  • cultural identity
  • overcrowding
  • quality of life
What to do next:
Look at other essays: