Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
More and more
people
think that some career
like engineers and doctors should Fix the agreement mistake
careers
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
work
in the city wher
they Correct your spelling
where
did
their Wrong verb form
do
Studing
or training. Correct your spelling
Studying
However
, Other
say that they should to Fix the agreement mistake
Others
employe
in any Correct your spelling
employed
place
. It
dependent on the person himself.
on the one hand, Add a verb
It is
It was
people
who
believed that jobs should Correct pronoun usage
apply
in
the same Add a missing verb
be in
place
which
training it’s . In fact, Correct word choice
as
employees
who work
in the same company that
they received training , Correct word choice
where
they
have Correct pronoun usage
apply
better
chance Add an article
a better
from
Change preposition
than
other
. Fix the agreement mistake
others
In
addition
they have a lot of information about Add a comma
addition,
in
Change preposition
apply
this
institution when they did training . A Study published in
New York University concluded that 70% Change preposition
by
Workers
who Change preposition
of Workers
training
and Wrong verb form
train
working
in the same Wrong verb form
work
corporationing
Correct your spelling
corporations
corporation
most
are creatine in their field of Correct quantifier usage
apply
work
. Therefore
, This
persons
can adapt quickly Fix the agreement mistake
person
with
other Change preposition
to
employees
and administrators.
on the other hand
, people
who think the permanent workplace must be is
chosen by the employee himself. Unnecessary verb
apply
Further more
, they will feel more comfortable because they selected Correct your spelling
Furthermore
good
Change the article
a good
place
according to particular standards such
as good offers, excelent
Correct your spelling
excellent
Salary
and Fix the agreement mistake
Salaries
close
to their homes. Add a missing verb
being close
Additionally
, with the passing of the days, they will make good relationship
with Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
stuffs
. Correct your spelling
staff
For example
, my sister worked in famous
company in our Add an article
a famous
the famous
countuy
,she is very happy because her dream was Correct your spelling
country
work
in Fix the infinitive
to work
this
company. As a result
, the sheffe
Correct your spelling
shuffle
This
type of employees
haveFix the agreement mistake
employee
excited
and Replace the word
excitement
high
capacity to Correct article usage
a high
work
.
population divide to
two parts. Change preposition
into
First
part Correct article usage
The first
people
who believe that The occupation should be in the same training Add a missing verb
is people
place
. Second
part, Add an article
The second
people
who approved that the Add a missing verb
is people
work
Correct your spelling
workplace
place
must be selected by workers. In my opinion, workplace
have to be chosen by Fix the agreement mistake
workplaces
employees
because. always the person will gives
all his time , power and passion for Change the verb form
give
appropriate
Add an article
the appropriate
place
.Submitted by mithaa1223 on
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task achievement
The essay shows a fair attempt at answering the question but lacks depth in presenting clear, comprehensive ideas. Ensure each point is clearly elaborated with relevant details for better task achievement.
task achievement
Focus on providing more specific examples that directly relate to the arguments you are making. Example sentences should clearly illustrate your points to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical sequence of your ideas. Ensure each paragraph clearly follows from the previous one and that there are smooth transitions between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of points and expressions. Try to present new, distinct ideas in each paragraph to maintain coherence and avoid redundancy.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, the conclusion can be stronger by summarizing the main points made in the essay more effectively.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which enhances the overall structure of the essay.
task achievement
The topic has been addressed from both perspectives, demonstrating an understanding of the task requirements.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example