IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

Some people believe that machine translation is very advanced, children do not have to learn a foreign language from primary school. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #machine #translation #children #language #school
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I believe that completing of bachelor's course in Australia would be a wonderful opportunity for me to enhance my personal development skills and gain knowledge, especially in specialized areas
such
 as the healthcare field.
This
 will help me to learn the specific skills and knowledge which will be useful in
work life
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work-life
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 situations.
In addition
, with an Australian degree for sure be able to provide more job opportunities when I return to my home country in Malaysia. On top of that, a better life for my family and me through a higher salary.
Besides
 that, improving English language skills through different
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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 of
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
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 and
cultural
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culture
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 if studying in Australia compared to the local
instituations
Correct your spelling
institutions
.
Submitted by tifjong on

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organization
You should structure your essay by including a clear introduction and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a central idea and support it with relevant examples.
detail
Try to provide more comprehensive and clear ideas, explaining each point with greater depth and detail. This will help in making your response more complete and coherent.
cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use connecting words and phrases to ensure a smooth transition from one idea to the next.
content
You present some interesting points about the benefits of completing a bachelor's course in Australia, particularly in terms of personal development skills and job opportunities.
examples
The use of relevant examples, such as the healthcare field and job opportunities, strengthens your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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