Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction.

#salary #job #satisfaction

There are many arguments between people about the salary

that is

really more vital than

job

satisfaction. I completely believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

being fulfilled from their

job

is much more essential rather than getting a high amount of salary. For and foremost, if a person loves his or her

job

it may give a fulfilment from life. When workers are satisfied with their careers it would be great to get inspiration and step forward.

Furthermore

, being grateful for their work plays a vital role and may have a good impact on their family too.

Therefore

, when workers have the motivation to work on their

job

, they may

treat

Wrong verb form

be treated

show examples

well with all of their family members.

Secondly

, having a satisfied occupation may lead to great results. Workers who work with

desire

Correct article usage

a desire

show examples

they

were

Wrong verb form

show examples

successful and achieve their career goals.

For example

, my father

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

always hardshipped by being grateful and happy with his

job

As a result

, he started to get high salaries and rewards from his career. Even

Correct word choice

though he

show examples

faced difficulties he never gave up. He just overcame those hardships with gratitude and kindness to his profession.

To conclude

, people who love what he is doing

than expecting

Wrong verb form

expect

show examples

a high salary. They may succeed

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Wed Sep 18 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Your introduction sets the stage well, but it would benefit from a clearer thesis statement outlining the main points you will discuss.

logical structure

Try to use more transitional words and phrases to make your essay flow more smoothly from one idea to the next.

relevant specific examples

Expand on your examples and explanations to make your arguments more compelling. Adding specific details will strengthen your main points.

clear comprehensive ideas

Work on sentence variety and try to avoid grammatical errors such as verb tense inconsistency and subject-verb agreement. Proofreading can help you catch these errors.

complete response

You did a good job explaining why job satisfaction is important. This shows a clear understanding of the topic.

relevant specific examples

Your essay includes personal examples, which help illustrate your points well.

logical structure

The main ideas in your essay are logically arranged and easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

203 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

remuneration
financial security
motivation
luxuries
material possessions
fulfillment
work-life balance
stress levels
mental well-being
job security

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Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In the past peope used to travel abroad to look for many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar What are the reasons? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Popular events like the World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factor contributes to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this?