Professionals like doctors, teachers and lawyers contribute equally to society with non-professionals including entertainers and sportspeople. Thus, they should receive equal pay. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.

Academic professionals and
non academic
Add a hyphen
non-academic
show examples
professionals equally
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
a vital role in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society to make
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
contribution
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
societial
Correct your spelling
social
development. It is undeniable that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
professsionals
Correct your spelling
professionals
like doctors,
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
and lawyers
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
invested high
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
of fees in their studies than the
non academic
Add a hyphen
non-academic
show examples
menors
Correct your spelling
mentors
minors
which can give the
justics
Correct your spelling
justices
justice
of
high
Add an article
the high
a high
show examples
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
of payment to professionals employees.In
this
essay, the statements and justification will be unveiled and the visible way will be expressed. Personally speaking,
white collar
Add a hyphen
white-collar
show examples
workers play
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
significant role in our daily
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
as they contribute the most essential services to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society like health, education and justice. With the help of these
services
Add a comma
services,
show examples
society can be civilized in a good way where
people
can live their life happily with their contribution.It is true that
non professional
Add a hyphen
non-professional
show examples
employees are
also
necessary to add
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
and meaning
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life as entertainment can bring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
happiness to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
. Many
people
have hobbies and
desire
Fix the agreement mistake
desires
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
these
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
kind
of entertainment apart from their jobs and duties.
Similarly
, many
people
are
also
making their hobbies
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a profession and they are earning
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
amount of money through
these
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
kind
of
profession
Fix the agreement mistake
professions
show examples
.
Likewise
, we live in an age when many of us make entertainment as our daily routine and there is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
increment in
this
interest too but
these
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
kind
of
profession
Fix the agreement mistake
professions
show examples
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
spent on learning as these talents can be
acheived
Correct your spelling
achieved
through practice.
On the other hand
, professional workers
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
a
lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
lot
show examples
of fees and money to get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
expertise in their field as
these
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
kind
of
knowlenge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
shared in colleges and
universites
Correct your spelling
universities
where
people
need to pay
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fees to tutors.
Also
, they need to spend years and years
along with
the fee. To elucidate, it is justificable that
people
from the field of doctors,
teachers
Correct word choice
and teachers
show examples
need to be paid higher wages than
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other service providers.
Submitted by ali.gyawali on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph should transition smoothly to the next.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. Specific, relatable examples can make your points more compelling.
language clarity
Work on language clarity. There are minor grammar and spelling errors that should be corrected for better readability and professionalism.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all supporting details directly relate to the main argument. Some points were not directly linked to the main argument.
introduction present
The introduction adequately sets up the essay's main argument.
balanced view
Attempts to present a balanced view by acknowledging the roles of both professional and non-professional workers.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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